


Tenderness

by dragonfly_moonlight



Category: FAKE (Manga), Gravitation, Mach GoGoGo | Speed Racer
Genre: F/M, M/M, Yaoi, implied rape, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-28
Updated: 2011-01-25
Packaged: 2017-10-14 04:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/145465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonfly_moonlight/pseuds/dragonfly_moonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eiri and Shuichi split. Tohma plots. Things become complicated as old rivals surface and an identity is stolen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Learning the "Good" News

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, and I do not profit financially from writing this story.

Tohma whistled softly as he showered, the song an old Nittle Grasper tune, and he reveled in the feel of the heat against his flesh. The day already promised to be a good one, especially in light of the . . . good news he and Mika had received last night.

Eiri had finally come to his senses and left Shuichi Shindou for good. Tohma still felt the buzz of elation from that little tidbit of information, and he could hardly wait to start his day. He thought he would never see the day the two would ever break up. Given how happy Eiri kept telling Tohma the vocalist made him, the blond had long since given up on trying to separate them, and he had started to believe Shindou would become a permanent fixture in the Uesugi family, more permanent than Tohma. Last night's news had certainly given Tohma cause for celebration. A light smile touched his features as the water splashed over him, drenching him and relaxing his slightly tensed muscles.

Why the two had split, Tohma did not know for certain. From what he had been able to discern, things between his brother-in-law and Bad Luck's vocalist had been going rather well. Whenever they had been seen in public, Eiri and Shindou smiled, held hands, and the two appeared to be genuinely happy. Granted, there had been a rumour about a brief instance of infidelity allegedly on Eiri's part but the singer had duly ignored such reports. There had been no fighting between the novelist and vocalist – not that anyone knew of, anyway – and Bad Luck's recording process had been ahead of schedule for a change. Life had been roses for the couple.

Tohma knew, though, that things were not always what they seemed. People had a tendency to change when the doors to private sanctuaries closed. No one could say what truly went on between Eiri and Shindou once they were alone, and the more he thought of it, it seemed a little odd that the two had not made as many public appearances as they had the year prior.

Tohma found that he did not care, either. His brother-in-law's great love affair had ended and for the better. Eiri's health would no longer be jeopardized because of the vocalist's careless antics. He may have backed off when it came to Eiri's tumultuous relationship, but he had not stopped fretting over the younger man's health. Shindou had always been a cause for concern in Tohma's mind, and the last thing he wanted was for Eiri to be hospitalized again for his ulcer.

'And now I don't have to worry about him affecting Eiri's health,' he told himself, shutting the water off. 'Not anymore.'

Stepping out of the shower, Tohma grabbed a towel and began to dry himself off. He had a busy day ahead of him, and he did not want to lose a single, beautiful moment of it.

* * *

Some kind of noise usually emanated from Rehearsal Room Two. The sounds of a guitar, keyboards, voices . . . they were the signs that told him Bad Luck's day had started. Tohma heard none of that as he approached and he frowned slightly. It felt, to him, like the vicious cycle of Shindou's selfish behaviour had started once more.

Tohma was no fool. While the elation from last night's good news continued to course through his veins, he had not forgotten about Eiri's ability to affect Shuichi Shindou's singing and his work ethic. Every time the two had a fight or separated for even the smallest amount of time, Bad Luck's vocalist often became depressed and inconsolable. He moped around and performed with a half-heartedness that caused even the strongest of mind to wilt. It often took the rest of the band, Sakano, and K everything they possessed just to keep Shindou on track and usually resulted in support for the singer to chase after Eiri. He really did not want to deal with the emotional backlash that was sure to erupt. Bad Luck could not afford a setback . . . not with their current contract coming to an end. He knew he had to somehow deter the young vocalist from trying to pursue his brother-in-law and to keep everyone from encouraging the action. It was just a matter of finding the right kind of distraction for Shindou, someone to keep the young man's mind off of Eiri. A difficult task, almost daunting due to the vocalist's unwavering devotion to the novelist, but Tohma could be just as determined and stubborn. He also had the perfect ammunition to get what he wanted from the rest of the band.

He did not even bother knocking as he entered the rehearsal room. Tohma was the president of the recording company, after all, and he did not really need to announce himself if he did not feel like it. The sight that greeted Tohma took him by surprise, and he frowned.

In one corner sat Shindou, huddled over a notebook and writing away, and his back was to the wall. Nakano and Suguru were quietly discussing something while K talked, in English, on his cell phone, and Sakano read over some paperwork. It was the usual scene, in its own right, but it still baffled Tohma. More specifically, it was Shindou's quiet and subdued behaviour that had him shocked.

However, Tohma was not one to show his confusion or any other irrelevant emotion. The world only saw from him what Tohma wanted it to see. His frown quickly disappeared, only to be replaced by his one thousand watt smile, and all activity in the room ceased as he entered. Five sets of eyes landed on him. His gaze, however, fell on Shindou.

"Shacho . . ."

Sakano instantly leapt to his feet and bowed before Tohma, though his usual anxiousness had dissipated slightly. Words poured from the producer's mouth, a complete report on Bad Luck's recording process from the beginning up until that day. In a nutshell, the recording had finished yesterday. The band was actually ahead of schedule. Tohma merely nodded as he listened to Sakano talk, his eyes never leaving Shindou.

The singer, to Tohma's trained gaze, appeared to rather dry-eyed and calm, given the news of Eiri's break up with him. The only indications he had that the break up had affected Shindou were his hair . . . and a deeper look into his eyes.

Like the last time Eiri had truly dumped the singer, Shindou had dyed his hair but in a rather unusual fashion. He had blond streaks throughout his raven locks with two blue stripes framing his face. The look went well with the torn blue jeans and black t-shirt that Shindou had chosen for the day, and the youth did not appear to be suffering physically.

His eyes, though, told a different story. Pain and sadness reflected in those amethyst depths, emotions that Tohma had expected to find. Bad Luck's vocalist usually wore his emotions on his sleeve so reading the younger man had always been very easy for Tohma. However, there was more shimmering in Shindou's eyes, a dullness that had never been there before and something else. Tohma could not quite decipher what else the singer's eyes were saying and he found it bothered him. He did not like it when he could not read others. It meant he would not have as much control over the situation as he would like, and with Shindou's already unpredictable nature . . .

Sakano's lengthy and roundabout report ended then, and Tohma's gaze briefly snapped to the producer before going back to Shindou. He nodded once more, his smile never wavering.

"That is very good to hear," he murmured. "I can't wait to listen to the final results."

"You'll be the first one to receive a copy," Sakano promised. Tohma practically felt the younger man beaming his pleasure.

As they spoke, Shindou rose to his feet, closing his notepad in the process. A quiet resignation had crept into his eyes . . . and Tohma knew with those actions alone the vocalist had been expecting him to show.

'He probably wasn't the only one, either,' Tohma mused, noting K's phone conversation had ended almost the instant he had entered the room. The American now gave him a hard stare. A cursory glance around the room and at the older man had indicated as much. It would make it a little difficult to get Shindou alone for the . . . talk he wanted to have with the vocalist but not too terribly so. K and the rest of Bad Luck had a tendency to be very protective of Shindou, and K and Nakano would definitely want to be present for any conversations. It did not matter, though, what they wanted, in Tohma's mind. He would get his way in the end.

* * *

He felt exhausted, just so bone-weary exhausted. He had felt such exhaustion for some time now, at least since Bad Luck started recording its latest album. His life had gone from overly complicated to a hellish nightmare in a short amount of time, and it was not over. It would not be over for a long time, if ever. Not as long as his heart continued to ache for the love he knew he could not have and not as long as doubts about his decision cluttered his mind.

Things would get better, he knew, and they were doing so slowly. He just had to have a little faith and a little bit of confidence in himself that he had made the right decision where Eiri was concerned . . . as well as time.

However, Shuichi knew he would not be receiving the time that he would need to recover from the official split with Eiri. Bad Luck had just finished recording their latest album. They would be hitting the promotional trail soon with interviews, live appearances on television, and an extensive tour. His time had already become monopolized, and Shuichi found himself wishing for a little time off from being a famous pop star.

'At least my day can't get any worse,' he told himself as he settled into a corner. With the initial recording over, there really was not much for Bad Luck to do except wait for the engineers to work their magic and clean up the songs. He really did not need (nor did he want) to be there, but anything was better than staying in his apartment. He would end up brooding over his situation if he had stayed at home, and he did not want to think about it. He just wanted to forget, which being at the studio allowed him to do, even if only for a few hours.

There was also Tohma Seguchi for him to consider. The former Grasper keyboardist had been against his relationship with Eiri for some time, and he had made sure that Shuichi was aware of his opinions. It was just a matter of time before the blond-haired man found out about the situation between Shuichi and Eiri. The vocalist had no doubts the older man would use the break up with the novelist to his advantage. It was simply a matter of time before Seguchi learned of the split and paid Shuichi a visit.

K had seemed to think so as well. The American had been talking to someone on his cell phone when Shuichi had walked into the rehearsal room that morning. He spoke in English so Shuichi did not understand most of what had been said but he kept catching his name being said and words like "Rage" and "XMR" every so often. If he had to venture a guess, it sounded as if K planned to try and relocate Bad Luck to the U.S. once more. Why he wanted to take the band to America, Shuichi did not know.

He also found he did not care, given the situation. K could justify his reasons all he wanted but, in the end, the final decision came down to him and the band. Shuichi knew it. He simply was no longer sure if he wanted to continue a career in music.

'Not going to think about it,' Shuichi thought. 'Don't want to think about it. I just don't care anymore.'

He had gotten himself situated in the corner at that moment, pulled out his notebook, and began to write. Putting pen to paper had become his only true escape, albeit a temporary one, and he soon became lost in a flurry of words and emotions. Some of it was poetry and little snippets of music – he really could not escape the writing part; it was soothing to say the least – and other parts were more like pieces of a story, as if his notebook had transformed in a journal of some sorts. It was the one thing Shuichi kept with him at all times as it helped ease the pain of his loss.

How long he had been writing before Tohma showed up in the rehearsal room, Shuichi did not know. He did not care, either. He had been expecting Tohma to make an appearance. It was just sooner than what the vocalist had anticipated, but the former Grasper's appearance was not a surprise. It was inevitable. Seguchi was Eiri's best friend of sorts. Shuichi just could not say what Tohma wanted from him, other than to tell him to stay away from Eiri.

'At least it'll be over with soon,' he sighed to himself as he looked up from his work. His gaze never left Tohma's form as Sakano started to prattle off a progress report on the next album's status. He rose to his feet, closing his notebook as he waited for the words he least wanted to hear from Tohma Seguchi's lips. They would be coming once Sakano finished talking.

'As if things couldn't get anymore complicated than what they have been . . . last thing anyone needs is Tohma Seguchi interfering where he's not wanted. He doesn't need to be involved. I've gotta do something . . . somehow.'

An idea began to form in the vocalist's mind, an idea that would hopefully distract Tohma from the situation. It was just futile to keep the blonde from whatever he wanted or what he had planned. Shuichi knew that from past experiences. Those who tried to stop the keyboardist or threatened someone he loved ended up hurt and that was putting it mildly.

Still, Shuichi could not see any other way. He needed time to recover but knew he would not receive such a luxury. Eiri also needed the time just like he did. The least the singer felt he could do for his former lover was give Eiri a reprieve from Tohma, if only for a little while. Shuichi knew what had happened the last time Eiri had dumped him, and he had been taken to America. Eiri had told him. Tohma had been over to the novelist's apartment every day, bringing him alcohol and shortcakes. It had aggravated Eiri to no end, though he still had ended up drinking the booze and eating the treats, and Shuichi knew if such a thing were to happen again, Eiri could possibly do something either incredibly stupid or incredibly dangerous. It would all depend on what Seguchi stumbled into should he pay an unannounced visit to the novelist.

Sakano's report came to an end at that moment and Tohma made the obligatory comment of how he could not wait to hear the final results. He at least sounded pleased about their progress. Then . . .

"Shindou-san, if I may have a word with you . . . in private . . ."

K started to say something. From the corner of his eye, he saw Hiro and Suguru begin to move forward, but Shuichi ignored them. He had been ignoring his bandmates for some time now. They only knew of the break up because he had told them shortly after his arrival. It would have been front-page news anyway, given he and Eiri were the media's favourite darlings. He felt it would been best for them to hear it from him . . . just so they would not yell at him once the press got a hold of the tidbit. The vocalist nodded his head at Tohma, picking up his backpack from where it lay on the floor. He did not intend to leave it where K could plant some kind of bug or tracking device on him. He had a place of his own now, and he intended to keep it a secret for as long as he possibly could.

"Of course, Shacho," he murmured, cutting everyone else off. "Whatever you want."

* * *

The walk to Tohma's office never really took very long. Shuichi had timed it a couple of different times – seven minutes, thirty-two seconds at a normal walk; four minutes, twenty-five seconds at a run. He had done so just to figure out exactly how long it took to get from the studio to the plush room where Tohma conducted his business, especially since the walk always felt like it was a mile long.

It was something he had often wondered about whenever he got called to see Tohma Seguchi. Why did this walk always feel so long? This time was no exception but he could never figure out why. Like the times before, he was stepping into Tohma's office before he knew it.

"Please . . . have a seat, Shindou-san."

Tohma gestured to one of the two chairs in front of his desk then moved to the one behind it. He sat down and waited patiently. Shuichi felt his eyes boring into him, trying to discern whatever secrets may lay hidden away.

Shuichi stood there for a moment and stared at the older man, regarding him warily. Other than his desire to keep Eiri safe – something Shuichi knew he had in common with Tohma – the blonde happened to be very unpredictable. The conversation they were about to have would be about the novelist. Shuichi felt very certain that was what Tohma wanted to discuss with him. Only the potential threats eluded the vocalist. Would he use Bad Luck's contract against him again? Would he tell Shuichi if he went near Eiri ever again, no one would ever remember Bad Luck's name? Or would he simply make Shuichi disappear, leaving Hiro and Suguru without a singer? A thousand ideas, it seemed, ran through Shuichi's mind as he regarded his boss the way a cat regarded a stray dog, and an idea slowly started to form in his mind.

'Might as well just do this and get it over with,' he thought as he reluctantly sat down. 'He really doesn't want me near Eiri anymore than what I want him near Eiri . . . I'll do this . . . for him, for Eiri . . . it'll be worth it in the end . . . I hope.'

"Thank you," Shuichi murmured, bowing slightly in his seat.

"Do not mention it," Tohma waved one hand airily. The keyboardist then sobered considerably. "I've heard the news . . . about you and Eiri . . . He called Mika last night to inform us."

To that, Shuichi nodded mutely. Eiri would have had to talk to someone last night, after their break up had finalized itself. Tohma and Mika were logical choices as was Tatsuha. The novelist telling anyone right away was the only real surprise.

"I must say it _is_ a surprise, Shindou-san," Tohma continued. "You and Eiri have always appeared to be quite happy with each other, especially in the last month or so."

"Things change . . ."

"True," the blond conceded. "Very true. What . . ."

"Don't ask," Shuichi interrupted. Panic started to build within his chest. While the pain of the truth and Eiri's betrayal had faded, there was another involved, someone no one else knew about yet, who stood to be hurt if Tohma ever discovered his involvement. Shuichi also felt it prudent to protect this other as well, even if he doubted the other person deserved such devotion from him anymore. "It isn't any of your business."

"Shindou-san . . ."

Tohma's voice had taken on a hint of warning, but Shuichi did not care. He had not spoken of his relationship to anyone in over a month, not even to Hiro, and he was not about to start blabbing away. He especially was not going to bare all of his soul to someone he did not even trust. Seguchi had destroyed Shuichi's faith in the blond the day he told the singer to stay away from Eiri, and he doubted it would ever return. Besides, it was his pain to deal with and no one else's. In a matter of seconds, Shuichi had hopped to his feet and crossed the distance between them. Then, without even truly thinking of what he was doing, the vocalist . . . kissed the blond sitting in front of him.

The kiss itself did not last very long – he only wanted to keep Tohma from questioning any further into painful matters – but it was long enough. His lips burned with a great intensity from the contact and his stomach lurched. It was wrong, what he was doing, but Shuichi could not stop himself. He had to keep Tohma distracted . . . somehow, if only for the briefest of moments.

"Just know that it's over," he heard himself say. His voice sounded faint, distant to his hearing. "It's over for good this time. There is no going back."

He quickly retreated from the president's office, his mind whirling and his cheeks burning. He had to regain control over his senses before he went back to the rehearsal studio and before Tohma could call him back into his office. His bandmates knew him too well. They would know that something was up if he ran back there now with his cheeks flushed bright red and a wild look in his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to notice how his conversation with Tohma had actually gone. The singer just hoped that his plan would work . . . and that Tohma would take the bait he had so willingly offered. Shuichi also prayed that, if he ever found out, Eiri would be able to forgive him for what he was about to do.

* * *

Tohma watched as Shuichi left his office at a rather frantic pace then shook his head at what had just transpired. The younger man's actions and words had surprised him, to say the very least. Because of the impromptu kiss, Tohma found that he could not call the vocalist back to inquire any further as Shindou's intentions. It irritated him to know the vocalist had found a way to render him speechless but yet . . . he could not be completely angry. After all, he did understand the situation was still rather painful for Shindou. If he did not want to talk, there was no way Tohma could make him do so.

'Strange,' he mused.

Tentatively, he reached up and touched his lips. They still burned from the contact with Shindou's for some reason, and the vocalist's words still echoed in his mind.

 _"Just know that it's over. It's over for good this time. There is no going back."_

"Is it really, Shindou-san?" Tohma murmured. "I wish I could trust that . . ."

Still, the younger man had given Tohma an idea as to who could keep the vocalist distracted from Eiri. The kiss had said it all. He would offer himself and watch as the younger man fell for him. Hopefully, Shindou would fall for him the same way that he had fallen for Eiri, which was blindly and completely head over heels. Then, when it was time . . .

It was a rather risky venture for him – more than one person would up end hurt once everything was over with . . . if he was not careful with his planning. His relationship with Eiri would definitely be jeopardized if he didn't plan accordingly.

However, if his plans kept Shindou away from Eiri then Tohma was willing to do and be everything the vocalist needed. He would be careful. He would keep the younger man within his grasp at all times. It was for his Eiri, after all.


	2. Let the Games Begin

"Shuichi! Wait up!"

At the sound of his name, the vocalist paused and turned around. Why, he was not entirely sure. He knew who had called him, having been around this particular person for a very long time, but he was not ready to talk to this person just yet. He was not ready to talk to anyone just yet. The singer had a lot on his mind lately, and he did not want nor need any outside input. Shuichi stood there for a few moments, silently debating with himself if he should wait before deciding he should. This person had done the same thing for him on many occasions, especially during times he had needed someone to be there for him.

Behind him, Hiro ran to catch up. The guitarist still had about half the hallway to cover but Shuichi was not feeling patient at the moment. Silently, he willed his friend to move faster, if only so they could get their inevitable conversation over with as quickly as possible.

Two days had passed since he and Eiri had officially broken up, and two days since he had kissed Tohma Seguchi. It had been a bit of a confusing time for Shuichi, and he had taken to hiding in his apartment the moment Sakano-san dropped him off at night. He needed to figure out how he was going to proceed, and he needed to be alone as he did so.

He was playing with fire when it came to Tohma Seguchi. Shuichi knew it. There would be no good outcome for him once everything was done and over with. He knew. He played various scenarios around in his mind, and each ended with similar results until he finally stopped due to the headaches his thinking caused him. Yet, he could not think of any other way to keep the older man away from Eiri.

'Strange . . . I don't want anything do with him anymore but I'll still do anything and everything I can to protect him . . . even if it means I get hurt in the end.'

Already, Shuichi had made some plans and decisions regarding the game he would be playing with Tohma. He knew that he had to in order to protect himself as well. The longer he held out from whatever the older man sent his way or tried to pull, the better off Eiri would be in the end.

'I'll be strong. I will be . . . I'll prove that I'm no one's play toy, either.'

Once he had come to that conclusion, Shuichi formed the first rule of this dangerous and fiery game. He would only go as far as kissing with Tohma Seguchi. There could be no more physical contact than that between them. At least . . . he would not allow anything to become too heated. He had not forgotten how difficult it was to kiss someone without some form of casual contact, such as hugging, and kissing often led to other, very pleasurable activities.

The second thing he had decided had been to keep it from Eiri . . . from everyone, actually. He'd had enough of others interfering in his personal life. If anyone knew of his plans of "involvement" with Tohma . . . Shuichi shook his head to chase away those thoughts. No one would know. He would be careful. He had to be careful. He did not want anyone else to get hurt, Eiri especially. Beyond that, Shuichi had to wait and see how things would play out. He was not a master at manipulating people, not like Tohma Seguchi.

Hiro caught up with him at that moment, breaking his concentration on his plans. The guitarist paused for a very brief moment to catch his breath then resumed walking the instant Shuichi did. Silence ensued as they approached the elevators and entered. They were on their way down when Hiro finally spoke.

"Thanks for waiting, Shu."

Shuichi just nodded in a noncommittal manner, his silent acknowledgment to his best friend's words. He did not dare say to say too much to Hiro, not with the way things had been between them lately. He did not want to say anything that could deepen the rift already existing between them. The vocalist did not exactly trust himself much anymore. His heart hurt too much.

"So . . . how are you?"

"Fine," Shuichi answered, keeping his eyes straight ahead and his tone neutral.

"Really? That's good."

Shuichi nodded again, doing his best not to speak any more than necessary. He wanted off that elevator and soon. The last thing he wanted to do was to talk about his problems, and he knew that Hiro wanted to talk. His best friend was concerned, and had been for some time now. Shuichi could tell by the way his best friend had asked him how he was doing. Next to him, Hiro sighed. It sounded sad, mournful, and his friend's sympathy, guilt, whatever, threatened to undo the walls Shuichi had carefully erected around his heart.

"Listen, Shu . . ."

"Don't start, Hiro . . . please."

The elevators slid open at that moment, allowing Shuichi to escape, and escape he did. He stepped out and all but ran to Bad Luck's rehearsal room.

* * *

Hiro gazed mournfully at Shuichi's retreating form then stepped out of the elevator. He knew the vocalist was hurting and had been for a few months now. His friend's pain had etched itself permanently into his lithe form and amethyst eyes.

Hiro saw it. He knew Shuichi the best, after all, and it bothered him to see the vocalist withdraw from everything he cared about. The quiet, subdued behaviour the singer exuded was not normal. It would never be normal for his friend. He had witnessed how Shuichi had acted after a fight with Eiri Yuki, had lived through the theatrics always followed those fights, and had always comforted his friend during such times. Now . . .

Now he was part of the problem, and Hiro feared his actions had helped to break his friend's spirit. He cursed his own weakness in the matter. Guilt consumed the guitarist, and he had been desperate to get Shuichi to talk to him, even if only resulted in his friend yelling at him. All attempts had failed. The singer had become all but reclusive in a short amount of time, and it had Hiro both worried and scared. And now with Bad Luck's latest album completed . . .

'I can't give up, though. I can't. Hey may not see it right now but he needs me. He needs all of us . . . I just wish he'd let us back in . . .'

Hiro never thought he would miss Shuichi as much as he had been lately. He wanted his friend back, and he would do anything to make that happen. Desperation had slowly crept into his heart. He did not want to lose Shuichi, not to anyone or anything.

"No luck?" a familiar voice commented. "He still won't talk to you?"

Hiro shook his head, not even bothering to look at K. He did not need to say anything about his progress with Shuichi. The American had probably seen everything . . . somehow. The blond just did not know _why_ Shuichi had instantly clammed up and why the singer was avoiding everyone.

"I've been talking to Judy about what's been going on," K continued.

"You want to relocate us to America. I know," Hiro interjected. "I do understand English better than you think I do."

"I know. And I'm thinking it would be best to wait until after the tour, _if_ Shuichi agrees to it," the blond nodded. "He didn't want to leave the last time something like this had happened(1) . . . but Bad Luck's contract is up after this(2)."

"And if Shuichi wants to stay here, Tohma could use the new contract to keep him away from Eiri," the guitarist murmured, his heart clenching in pain as recent memories assailed him, memories. "Is that what you're saying?"

"I wouldn't put it past Seguchi-san. He's threatened Shuichi with the contract before(3)," K answered.

'And in his current frame of mind, Shuichi will agree to anything. I can't let that happen. I won't let it happen. Not again. Not when this is Shuichi's life.'

Straightening his back – Shuichi's continued rebuttals of his attempts to talk had been bringing Hiro down – the guitarist marched forward. He would get his best friend to listen to him. One way or another, he vowed he would. He would protect Shuichi from whatever Tohma had planned. It was the least Hiro felt he could do for his best friend after the hell he had put him through.

* * *

K's eyes followed Hiro as the guitarist strode with determination to Bad Luck's rehearsal room, and he frowned. There was something more to the Eiri/Shuichi drama than what had been said. He knew it, and he could tell Hiro knew something as well. The break-up between Japan's favourite gay couple had come from out of nowhere, and Shuichi had been extraordinarily calm the last two days since he had announced it to everyone.

K did not like what was going on. He had noticed the band dynamics between Shuichi, Hiro, and Suguru had begun to decay over the last month and a half. Hell, the dynamics started to decay at least six months before, when Shuichi started to say he wanted to help with the song-writing in addition to what Eiri Yuki had written. The vocalist had become quiet, almost withdrawn, and agreeing to whatever Suguru and Hiro wanted. His singing capabilities had not suffered any, but K figured it was just a matter of time before Shuichi crumpled. The young man often did and with him not speaking to anyone, including his own best friend . . .

That had K more than worried. The last thing he wanted was for Bad Luck to fall apart in the middle of a major tour. It was not entirely unheard of, especially among highly popular bands(4), so he had done the only thing he could think of to do.

He had called Judy and had told her what had been going on with Bad Luck. He spoke of the disagreements over lyrics, of how Shuichi had become withdrawn . . . he told her everything. K had even mentioned the impending end of their contract.

At first, his wife had been rather ecstatic, though not about the possibility of Bad Luck splitting. She believed that it would be a good thing for Bad Luck to relocate to the States, to get away from NG and from Tohma Seguchi and Eiri Yuki (she had never cared much for the novelist[5]). Judy had even offered to contact Reiji for him, but he had declined and quickly so. K had simply needed her to listen and to give him her opinions about the situation at hand. His wife had understood and had promised to keep it under wraps until the time was right. She would wait for his cue this time and be sure a relocation was exactly what the entire band wanted. He needed to talk to Bad Luck about signing somewhere else first. The last time he'd tried to relocate them, well . . . it had not gone exactly as planned. K did not want a repeat performance of the past incident. He was still paying for destroying Reiji's panda robot.

Slowly, the American followed Hiro down the hallway and into Bad Luck's rehearsal room. One band member had been made aware of his plans. Only two more remained, if they had not guessed his intentions already. K just hoped he was not jumping the gun.

* * *

Tohma gazed at the papers sitting on his desk then let out a heavy sigh, burying his face in his hands. He had a decision to make, a life-altering one, and he did not really want to make it. To do so would have . . . interesting, and some painful, consequences.

The decision itself did not have so much to do with Shuichi Shindou as it did his wife. For the last year, he and Mika had been drifting apart significantly. Since the loss of their first and only child, he had been spending more time at work while she often stayed in Kyoto with her father and her baby brother. Tohma had a feeling that she had found someone there to spend time with, someone who made her happy. Her eyes lit up whenever she talked about going to the family temple, and Tohma had not seen that light in her eyes for some time now. If it hadn't been for the fact they had planned to spend the day together, Tohma might not have been there when Eiri called Mika about the break-up with Shindou-san. He opened his eyes and let out another heavy sigh.

His eyes skimmed over the documents once more before he picked up a pen and began to sign in all the appropriate places. There was not any getting around it. He had to let Mika go, as much as it pained him to do so.

'It'll be better this way,' Tohma reasoned. He continued to sign the papers that would get the process started. 'I can't give her what she needs . . . and she deserves to be happy. The same as Eiri does.'

Once the papers were signed in all the right places, Tohma began to make several calls. He had a lot to do and a certain vocalist to keep entertained as well. The blond-haired man just was not entirely sure as to how.

Tohma knew how he wanted to proceed with Shindou. He had been thinking things over as he had been mulling over filing for divorce – he'd had the time, after all. One thing Tohma concluded: he would have to take things slowly with the youth. The last thing Tohma wanted to do was chase the vocalist back into Eiri's arms. If he was not careful, he would end up doing just that, and Eiri would be in the same situation as the last time.

And Eiri was to never know what he was doing. No one was to know. The idea was to protect the novelist, not hurt him. He would also have to find a way to keep the vocalist from telling anyone. Tohma did not believe it would be too difficult, but he also was not going to take any chances where Shindou was concerned. The youth had a mind of his own, and very few things could influence the singer.

'Still shouldn't be too hard,' he told himself. He was a master manipulator, after all, and Shindou would be like so many others he had controlled throughout his career. Tohma pressed the intercom key as soon as he finished signing the papers and asked his assistant to call his lawyers. Then another thought came to him, and he said,

"Sugiyama-san, could you please let Shindou-san know that I wish to see him before he leaves today? There is a matter of great importance I wish to discuss with him."

* * *

Smoke trailed its way towards the ceiling while golden eyes stared hard at the newspaper headline: _EIRI YUKI AND SHUICHI SHINDOU SPLIT!_ He did not bother to read the rest of the article. It was nothing but speculation anyway. He had not talked to the press about the singer leaving him, and he knew Shuichi had not, either. Eiri would have heard about it.

The fact the media had gotten word of the split did not surprise Eiri Yuki, or rather, Eiri Uesugi. He would have preferred for the announcement to wait a little longer than two days, but it was still inevitable. A soft sigh escaped the novelist and he leaned back in his chair, his eyes closing.

 _"Eiri . . ."_

Two days. That was how long it had been since he had heard from his now former lover. The words Shuichi spoke to him never let him be.

 _"I've been doing some thinking . . ."_

'It shouldn't have gone this far . . . Things weren't supposed to be like this . . .'

 _"I think we should end it . . . for good . . ."_

He had protested Shuichi's decision. Eiri truly had but nothing he said had convinced Shuichi to change his mind. Nothing could stop the words that came from the vocalist, and Eiri felt his world being torn into a thousand pieces.

 _"We both know that you don't love me anymore . . . There's no point in pretending any longer. I can't do it . . . I'm sorry."_

Eiri opened his eyes as another sigh slipped from him. Somewhere, deep inside, he knew Shuichi had been right. He no longer loved the vocalist . . . at least, not like he had. Someone else had captured his heart. The novelist, however, refused to acknowledge those thoughts or Shuichi's words as truth. His former lover was _not_ him. Only Eiri Uesugi knew who he loved, better than what anyone else did, and it was not up to anyone else to make those decisions for him. He had grown angry, even resentful, with Tohma for even trying.

Cool eyes landed on the newspaper before it suddenly flew off the coffee table. The pages fell in a scattered heap on the opposite side of the room. Somehow, he would find a way to erase that headline and erase it for good. The separation with Shuichi was not going to be permanent. Not if Eiri had anything to say about it.

A knock on his door brought Eiri up short in his thoughts, and he glared at it. He did not want to talk to anyone at the moment (unless it happened to be Shuichi, which he doubted), especially if it was who he thought it was on the opposite side. Eiri rose to his feet.

'I'm in no fucking for this,' he growled to himself as he stalked towards the door. 'I'm especially in no mood for his shit, either.'

He flung the door open and began to tell the person there to fuck off, he was in mood to talk . . . until he saw who was actually there.

"We need to talk . . . Yuki-san."

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Seguchi-san?"

At the sound of that unusually soft voice, Tohma glanced up and blinked. Shindou stood in the doorway, a timid expression on his face. Immediately, the blond-haired man smiled and set aside what he had been working on. It was another thing he had decided. Any time he had the vocalist in his presence, Tohma would focus on him. It would help to put Shindou at ease when they would be together.

"Hai, I did," Tohma nodded. He stood up. "There's something I'd like to discuss with you. Please . . . come in."

Tentatively, the younger man stepped into his office and closed the door behind him. Wide, violet eyes regarded Tohma with great wariness as the vocalist crossed the distance between them. Shindou did not trust him. In truth, the singer really had every reason to be mistrustful of him. After all, Tohma had tried to destroy his relationship with Eiri once upon a time. The older musician, however, did his best to project a reassuring aura as he knew Shindou had no idea as to what to expect. He motioned for the vocalist to sit.

"How've you been holding up, Shindou-san?"

"Okay," the singer smiled wanly. "It's been rough, but I've been able to manage so far."

Tohma could only imagine what Bad Luck's vocalist had to be going through, having his lover leave him suddenly and abruptly the way Eiri had. It was inevitable, in his mind, but it still had to be painful for the singer. There was no denying Shindou had been truly in love with Eiri, and the singer had gone out of his way to prove it. Shindou was the only one, other than Tohma, to ever know of Eiri's secrets, and those secrets had done nothing to deter Shindou in his pursuit of the novelist. Tohma only had his doubts about how the novelist truly felt about the vocalist.

'Not now,' he berated himself. 'Focus.'

"That's good to hear," Tohma stated, "especially with a tour coming up."

"Yeah," the singer agreed, his tone becoming even quieter and his eyes distant. The younger man had even averted his gaze to the windows, causing Tohma to frown. In an instant, Shindou's mood changed and he offered the former Grasper a bright smile. Tohma had a feeling it was fake, like so many of the ones he gave to the press and his subordinates. "It should be one hell of a tour . . . it's going to be the best Bad Luck album yet!"

"Is it?" Tohma raised an eyebrow at the dark-haired youth, smiling a little. He knew a little boasting never hurt anyone, and it was safe territory for them to be talking about, Bad Luck's latest project. Tohma had already done a little bit of research. Sakano-san had already informed him that Shindou had been adamantly avoiding any and all discussions regarding Eiri and their split. The singer kept telling everyone it was over and done with. He would not be chasing after Eiri anymore.

"Yeah," Shuichi nodded, his eyes going distant again. "It is. The absolute best. Why wouldn't it be? Eiri wrote all the lyrics."

This Tohma already knew. Sakano had told him before Bad Luck had begun recording. It was to be a collaborative effort, a way for Shindou to finally include Eiri in the process. The novelist had spent a record amount of time at NG and with Bad Luck because of it. Tohma had felt it to be a good thing, especially since it would allow his brother-in-law a chance to articulate feelings that could otherwise never come out. Even his novels did not allow the temperamental blond such a freedom.

"I'm sure you're right, Shindou-san," he smiled. "That is quite powerful marketing right there. Isn't it?"

"Yeah . . . is that what you wanted to talk to me about, Seguchi-san?"

Tohma blinked at the sudden change. He felt as if the vocalist was trying to pull away from him while trying to stay close at the same time. He also got the faintest hint that perhaps Bad Luck's new album was also a potential sore spot for the singer. Yet, Tohma knew he could not press anything further with Shindou. The younger man had evidently learned how to clamp down hard when it came to avoiding certain topics, and there was still a trust issue between the two of them.

'Very well,' the blond silently conceded. 'We'll play this your way . . . for a while.'

"Actually, it isn't," Tohma slowly confessed. "Your . . . actions the other day . . . They had me rather curious about something."

"Oh?" Shindou glanced at him, a hint of fear in his eyes. It was quickly replaced with . . . something else. Tohma thought it to be determination. He could not be sure, though. The vocalist had somehow become unreadable to him once more, and it unnerved him. Hell, nearly everything about the singer made Tohma wary.

However, Tohma was not about to let his emotions deter him. He would keep the vocalist under his control until it was time to play the final card in this game. Until then . . .

"Yes," he said as he nodded, moving closer to the vocalist. "You seemed rather . . . edgy about something. What was it?"

"Just . . . a rough day . . . I had a lot on my mind. That's all," the singer said with a casual shrug of his shoulders. He remained sitting.

'More like distraction,' Tohma thought. He knew an attempted power play when one appeared before him. Still, he delighted in the fact that Shindou had not inched away from him. If anything, it seemed as if the younger man had moved closer to him, albeit reluctantly. Tohma reached over, his fingers brushing along satiny smooth skin.

"A rough day?" he murmured, leaning in closer. They were so close, so dangerously close, that Tohma felt the younger man's breath against his flesh. "How was today then?"

"Better," came the silent admission just as their lips started to touch.

It was only for the briefest of moments – just the slightest of contact – but his entire body burned with an intense fire from that one kiss. Why, Tohma did not know. The . . . "kiss" itself was nothing like those he and Mika used to give to each other. It had simply . . . happened, like the last time he and Shindou had "shared" a kiss.

Slowly, he pulled away from the younger man. Tohma also kept from looking in those violet depths. The last thing he wanted to do was see whatever the vocalist happened to be feeling. He was not about to give in to whatever Shindou wanted at the moment. He needed to stay in control of the situation. Keeping his pace steady, Tohma strode to the window.

"Shindou-san . . . there is something more I wish to discuss with you . . ."

"There is?"

"Hai . . . please join me. There is something I wish to show you as well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. From Volume 8 of Gravitation. Shuichi initially declined Judy Winchester’s offer to defect to XMR just so he could stay close to Eiri.
> 
> 2\. What Tohma was going to bring up with Shuichi in Chapter One but never got to.
> 
> 3\. Again, from Volume 8. After Eiri’s hospitalized for vomiting up blood and after the date (which both happen in Volume 7), Tohma delivers Shuichi an ultimatum. The band or Eiri. And if he chose Eiri, Tohma would do anything and everything he could to destroy Bad Luck.
> 
> 4\. The Bangles were in the middle of their Everything Everywhere tour when they cancelled over a month’s worth of shows and went their separate ways, claiming to be on “hiatus.” The hiatus lasted ten years.
> 
> 5\. For you Gravitation anime-only fans, in the manga, Eiri dangles a young girl by the nickname of Reiji (Japanese for “rage”) over the railing of a building. She ends up in the hospital as a precaution and Judy flies in from L.A. to check on her. Rage is the head of artist development at XMR and is really good friends with Judy Winchester.
> 
> Oh, and "hai" means "yes" in Japanese for those of you who don't know. ;)


	3. When the Game Changes

Eiri took one final drag from his cigarette before stubbing it out in his car's ashtray. Then he climbed out and made his way towards the pristine building that was NG Records, intent on carrying out his little mission of sorts.

Several days ago, Hiroshi Nakano had paid him a visit. Eiri had wanted to see Bad Luck's guitarist almost as much as he wanted to his soon-to-be former brother-in-law (Mika was currently staying at his apartment rather than the couple's condo, though she refused to tell him why. All he knew was they were officially splitting, and he found their timing to be rather odd). Both men, in the novelist's opinion, were pains in the ass, and Eiri blamed Hiro for a good many problems with his and Shuichi's relationship. The dark-haired man had insisted, however, and Eiri ultimately was glad he had listened to the man. If not, the novelist may never have heard about Bad Luck's contract ending soon . . . or about Tohma wanting to speak with Shuichi. Alone. He asked to see the singer twice . . . within two days. Hiro had not liked the news he delivered, and he seemed to think Eiri could do something about it.

Neither had Eiri. The timing of the split and the end of Bad Luck's contract would give NG's president enough ammunition to manipulate Shuichi into staying out of the novelist's life for good. Eiri did not put it past Tohma to try something underhanded like that. The older man had not grasped the concept that Eiri was now a grown man and could take care of himself. He had been taking rather excellent care of himself for years, after all, and had been doing exceptionally well after Shuichi had entered his life.

Which led the novelist to where he was now: walking into NG Studios and preparing to make a few demands of his own. He did not want to lose his friendship with Tohma – the man had been there for him when no one else had, and it would also serve to piss Mika off at the same time – but he also did not want to see Shuichi get hurt. The vocalist had already gone through enough shit, most of it coming from Eiri himself. Shuichi did not need the burdens from any of Tohma's mind games.

'Deep breaths,' he told himself. 'Deep breaths. It won't do you any good to walk in there pissed off.'

And, he had to admit Tohma likely would not be affected by any of his anger. The older man had years of practice when it came to dealing with Eiri. No matter how hard the novelist tried, he could never get a rise out of Tohma Seguchi. The man was unflappable.

Despite Tohma's unshakable nature, Eiri intended to get through to his long-time friend. He cared about Shuichi, and he would do anything he could to protect the vocalist. He would not fail the singer ever again.

As calmly as he could manage, Eiri entered NG Records and made his way to Tohma's office.

* * *

It was interesting, watching the members of Bad Luck interacting with each other, their producer, and their manager. Nakano and Suguru were talking to each other, Sakano was going over scheduling with K, and Shindou . . . kept to himself.

That had been the first thing Tohma had noticed when he snuck into the rehearsal room. There was also the fact the vocalist kept everyone at arm's length . . . literally. Whenever someone approached him, Shindou remained wary. Whenever someone reached over to touch him, the vocalist neatly side-stepped said individual, making the actions seem so natural in the process.

Tohma found the singer's actions both intriguing and disturbing. The dark-haired man struck him as playing the part of an abuse victim. As far as Tohma knew, Eiri had never been physically violent with Shindou. There was no reason for the younger man to be that guarded.

'There's definitely something he's not telling anyone,' Tohma thought darkly. 'Nakano-san knows . . . but even he can't get close to Shindou . . . odd.'

Tohma made a mental note to ask the vocalist about his strange tendencies later. He knew he would not get much out of his would-be lover. Shindou had made it a point to avoid certain topics whenever they were together. Tohma had reluctantly conceded to avoid those subjects, if only so he could keep the vocalist under his control.

One thing the younger man always refused to talk about was Eiri. He never got testy about the blond bringing the novelist's name up, but he also would not say much, only that he did not intend to chase after Eiri this time around. If Tohma tried to delve deeper, Shindou would discreetly change the subject.

Another area the vocalist avoided discussing was where he was currently living. Tohma had not outright asked where Shindou lived, figuring such an inquiry would be too bold. Instead, over the last couple of nights, he had offered the youth a ride to wherever he was staying. Each time, the offer was declined in favour of public transportation.

However, despite what Shindou was not telling him, Tohma had started to piece a few things together . . . now that he had actually had a chance to analyze them.

Wherever his would-be lover was staying, the vocalist did not want anyone to know or was not ready for them to know. The fact that Shindou kept effectively, and avidly, dodging K indicated as much to Tohma, though, to that extent, the blond could not blame Shindou for dodging the American. Eiri had complained often enough to him about K's extreme wake-up calls for the singer, and Tohma did not doubt Shindou did not want those wild tendencies to resume.

'Interesting . . . very interesting . . . if he isn't careful, Shindou may not have anyone to fall back on when everything's over.'

Quietly, Tohma left the unusual interaction behind him. He had a lot to get done and another rendezvous with Shindou to plan. The blond wanted no detail left unattended. There was too much hinging on how he played his cards. The effects of his planning on Bad Luck's vocalist were the furthest things from his mind. Tohma's only concern was Eiri and keeping Shindou away from the author. If he had to break the singer then he would, despite Shindou's efforts to thwart him.

And Tohma knew it was just a matter of time before the singer would break. Shindou was not as strong as he liked the world to believe. Then, once it happened, Shindou would be gone and out of Eiri's life forever. For that day, Tohma could not wait.

* * *

Hiro cast a sideways glance at Shuichi, trying to discover what exactly was going on with his best friend. The vocalist still remained quiet and aloof from everyone, and avoided any kind of a confrontation.

It had him more than worried, especially since Tohma Seguchi had started talking to Shuichi, alone, for the last couple of days. He had no idea as to what the president wanted from his long-time friend . . . aside from wanting to keep Shuichi and Eiri separated. He just knew the meetings often took place after Bad Luck's day had ended and it was time for everyone to go home. Hiro could not figure out how to counter whatever the president had in mind simply because Shuichi would dismiss him as soon as he approached. The singer also refused to tell Hiro what was taking place when they talked. It frustrated the guitarist because he could not keep his best friend safe from Tohma. Shuichi not talking to him hampered Hiro's efforts so he had done one of the only things he could think of to do.

He swallowed his pride and had paid a visit to Eiri Yuki, something he had vowed to never do again. The author was as much to blame for Shuichi's odd behaviour as Hiro was. In Hiro's mind, Eiri owed it to Shuichi to at least intervene somehow.

Eiri had not been too thrilled to see him, either, and the older man had nearly slammed the door in Hiro's face. The novelist had only bothered to listen when the guitarist had said it was about Shuichi. Then he had been more than eager to hear what Hiro had to say.

Their talk had been two days ago and Hiro wondered what Yuki-san had been doing during that time. Tohma's private talks with Shuichi after hours had not stopped, and Hiro began to doubt the novelist's concerns for the vocalist.

'I told him. That's all I can do for now . . . I just have to get Shuichi to talk to me. That's the only thing left for me to do.'

It was not going to be easy, especially since the vocalist had become hell-bent on avoiding everyone, and a determined Shuichi was very hard to dissuade. Hiro felt certain his friend's family did not know where Shuichi was staying. He had stopped by the Shindou home a few days before, figuring Shuichi would have gone there after moving out of Yuki's apartment. The singer had not been there, had not shown up there for well over a week. It was something more for Hiro to worry about and had him considering one more option, something he did not really want to do. However, his concern for Shuichi's safety overrode the guitarist's common sense.

'I'll have to catch K before the day ends . . .'

He just hoped K wouldn't take things too far. The American had a very terrible knack for being less than discreet.

'Don't worry, Shu. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. I promise.'

* * *

"Why are you doing this?"

Tohma gazed calmly at his wife, betraying nothing. Mika's appearance at NG did not surprise the former Grasper. He had mailed the divorce papers to her in Kyoto, after all, and it only made sense Mika would come back to Tokyo to find out why. Little did he know Tatsuha had brought her the papers since she was staying with Eiri.

Dark eyes glared at him. His wife apparently was not happy with him.

"Because it is the right thing to do," he finally replied, keeping his tone neutral and even. Despite the fact that it had been a hard and painful decision for him to make (he had loved her), Tohma was not one to show any . . . unnecessary emotions. To show Mika their separation was hurting him, even if only a little, would be unforgivable to the blond. Tohma also doubted it would hardly matter in the end. One thing he had learned about Mika was she was never very quick to forgive. There were times when her emotions got the better of her, and she lay the blame for Eiri's condition at Tohma's feet, something he felt he deserved to say the very least.

"The right thing to do?" she echoed, raising an eyebrow at him. Suspicion danced in her perfectly shaded eyes. "The right thing to do . . . at the same time Eiri and Shuichi break up."

"The end of their relationship has nothing to do with this," Tohma stated matter-of-factly. "It has to do with us."

"Does it?" Mika demanded. "I know how you feel about Eiri, how you've always felt about him! This is a perfect opportunity for you, isn't it? With Shuichi gone, you'll have Eiri all to yourself. That's the way you want it, isn't it? You're such a bastard, Tohma! Well, I won't allow it. You are not going to pursue my brother like you did the last time. You can take that promise to the bank."

During her tirade, Tohma had propped his elbows up onto his desk and had folded his gloved hands in front of him. Gently, he rested his chin on top of them, and he listened intently, taking in every move she made. The way her eyes flashed, her hands punctuated her words, the fact she would not keep eye contact with him for long . . . every little thing she did (or did not do) told him everything he needed to know, and he knew he was making the right decision. He had to let her go. Once she had finished her rant, Tohma lowered his hands and spoke.

"Who are you seeing in Kyoto, Mika?"

He kept his tone quiet, non-threatening, and it had the desired effect. His wife's eyes widened and her face paled slightly. Mika also stopped moving, instead sitting down in a chair across from him. She resembled a frightened deer, unable to move away from the car traveling towards it.

"How . . ."

"Does it really matter?" he inquired softly. "The fact remains that I know, that I have known for some time . . . and I do want for you to be happy. That is why I'm doing this. You deserve to be happy, and it is clear that I can no longer do that for you. Now, I advise that you read over the papers carefully and with a lawyer. You may find something in there to your benefit."

"Are you trying to keep me from something, Tohma?" Her eyes narrowed. To that, Tohma smiled.

"I just want you to be taken care of, Mika. If you'll excuse me, I need to check on Bad Luck's rehearsal . . ."

He rose to his feet then stepped out of his office. Mika needed some time to think about what he was offering, and he really did want to check on Bad Luck once more. He doubted things had changed since this morning but he found that, the more he watched the band interact, the more he learned about Shindou. With a few more observations, he believed he would figure out what it was the vocalist was hiding and then he would have all the ammunition he would need to send the younger man packing.

Of course, as he walked towards the elevators, Tohma reflected on some of the things Mika had said. She had not been too far from the truth on one of them.

Eiri's break up with his lover was a perfect opportunity for him, a great way for Tohma to control Shuichi Shindou. Both men were vulnerable, Bad Luck's vocalist more so than the novelist. The blond knew just how important music was to Shindou and how the younger man wanted to stay at NG. He would do anything to stay, and Tohma intended to use that to his advantage.

The timing for filing the divorce papers had been rather coincidental, however. He'd had them drawn up a month ago, and he had constantly perused them to be sure everything within the documents were to his specifications.

'Still lucky for me,' he thought, reaching the elevators to go down to the third floor. 'I could not have timed it better even if I'd planned it.'

The elevator door slid open at that moment, revealing someone Tohma had not been expecting to see just yet. Golden eyes gazed piercingly at him.

"Hello, Seguchi," Eiri said. "We need to talk. Now."

* * *

Shuichi stifled a yawn as he made his way to the elevators. Another day had come and gone, but not much had really been accomplished. The engineers were still working their magic on the tracks, which left Bad Luck in strange form of limbo, and the entire team wanted to figure out the best course of action. He had hated it.

As usual, since the recording had finished ahead of time, K had wanted to get Bad Luck on the road, start the whole promotional circus as soon as possible. To do so, the American wanted to see about pushing the new album's release date forward. It was something Hiro and Suguru and even Sakano were considering as well. Their looks of concern and pity, however, were not lost on the singer, and he felt he knew why they wanted to push forward with the release.

Shuichi was not too fond of the idea, and he even said as much. In the end, though, it would be like the rest of the band meetings. He would give in to what his bandmates wanted if only so the fighting would cease.

He knew that it was inevitable, the whole tour and interview process. It did not mean, though, he was currently ready to get everything started. He still had Tohma Seguchi to deal with. If he went on tour sooner than expected then the older man had unhindered access to Eiri.

'Still, I can't keep Tohma away from him all the time. Someone might get suspicious. He is Eiri's brother-in-law.'

That thought brought Shuichi to a sudden halt. He truly had not forgotten Tohma was married to Eiri's older sister. He just had not thought about it when he had decided to keep the former Grasper distracted so Eiri's heart could mend.

'Shit. This changes things.'

For a moment, Shuichi stood there, chewing on his lower lip and trying to decide what to do. He knew he would have to get to Tohma's office soon. Today's "game" had been put into motion, but Shuichi now was not sure if he could keep it up. More than one person would end up hurt by this, especially if his plan backfired in his face. Then the vocalist sighed.

He did not have much of a choice. If he wanted to keep Tohma away from Eiri as much as possible, he would continue with the game and take the brunt of the hurt. He would just have to make sure he was extra careful.

With a quiet resignation, Shuichi resumed walking to Tohma Seguchi's office. Somehow, he would have to voice his concerns to the blond. He did not want anyone to get hurt because of something he did. He would never forgive himself if that happened.

As he neared his rendezvous point with the former Grasper, Shuichi's pace slowed some, and he focused on listening to any possible conversation taking place behind Tohma's door. It was a habit he had picked up during the last few months of his relationship with Eiri. The novelist had reverted back to some of his old mannerisms, and they had Shuichi exercising a great deal of caution when approaching others, especially when they might still be working. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb Tohma while the older man was in the middle of . . . whatever it was a president did.

His caution paid off. As he neared the office, he heard Tohma speaking with someone.

"Yes . . . that will be fine . . . Thank you."

Tohma was hanging up his phone as Shuichi crept in. His actions did not go unnoticed, and emerald eyes focused on him. The blond then offered him a bright smile.

"You're just in time, Shuichi."

The routine they had established over the last several days had begun. Tohma was always the first one to speak. Why, Shuichi was not entirely sure. Perhaps it had to do with the fact they were meeting in Tohma's office . . . and the blond was the president of the company. Perhaps it was because Tohma felt the need to be in control at all times. Ultimately, the singer did not care. It was just how things were supposed to be in their little play, and Shuichi accepted it, if only to keep his boss happy. Only one thing had changed. When they were alone, they called each other by first name and had dropped all honourifics. To Tohma's words, Shuichi offered a small, lopsided grin.

"Just in time for what?" he asked sweetly and rather innocently. That was how he was supposed to play, how they both played in their little charade. Tohma's smile would then become brighter, a bit cheerful, and he would exclaim, "To talk, of course!"

The ensuing conversation would be about nothing in particular . . . Shuichi tried talking about Eiri as little as possible. There were some things he felt Tohma would be better off not knowing. If Tohma Seguchi knew the truth about his break-up with Eiri . . . well, the charade would be over, and Tohma would be pestering the novelist non-stop. Shuichi could not allow that to happen just yet.

Of course, Shuichi knew Tohma's attention towards him was temporary and rather insincere. The blond, after Eiri had been hospitalized for coughing up blood, no longer cared to have the vocalist around and no longer encouraged them to be together. Tohma had often made it clear to Shuichi just what he felt about the effect he had on the novelist, though that now had changed as well. They were simply distracting each other, trying to keep the other from the one person they cared most about. It was a competition, a test to see who would break first. Shuichi was no fool. He knew better than to take things at face value with Tohma Seguchi, and he had no hope of escaping completely unscathed. There was some kind of catch to this charade, a catch that would be completely to Tohma's benefit.

'Only Tohma's won. I won't be Eiri's lover ever again. He just doesn't realize it yet . . . or he doesn't believe me that it's over. I don't know . . .'

On cue, the older man's smile became brighter and a bit more cheerful. He also rose to his feet and stepped from behind his desk.

"To talk, of course!"

"And what do you want to talk about?" Shuichi inquired, falling into his role quickly.

"Does it matter?" Tohma inquired back, his eyes glittering. The singer refrained from frowning at the other man's reply.

Something in their game had changed. It was not Tohma's usual response. The blond's eyes also had a strange gleam to them, a gleam that had not been present the last couple nights. The older man was either upset about something . . . or the charade was ending sooner than what Shuichi wanted. He had to make a change and quick . . . without alerting Tohma that he knew something was wrong.

"I don't suppose it does," he shrugged, carefully approaching the older man. "Unless . . ."

"Unless?" the keyboardist prompted, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You're having a bad day?" Shuichi managed to squeak out. Tohma was rather scary when he had that look in his eyes.

"And what makes you think I might be having a bad day?"

"Nothing," he replied slowly. He had to be careful. Tohma was a rather dangerous playmate. The last thing Shuichi wanted was to end up like Taki Aizawa. "I just know that people have bad days every now and then." Shuichi paused. "Are you having a bad day, Tohma?"

The older man regarded him for a moment, jade depths glinting like a sharp, double-edged knife. His smiled had remained, though, and it made Shuichi feel all the more nervous.

"I suppose you could say that I have," the confession came slowly, the blond's voice speaking with a strange sweetness. "Tell me . . . when was the last time you spoke with Eiri?"

To that, the vocalist blinked, confused. He felt it to be a rather odd question. The break up had taken place almost a week ago. The answer was obvious in Shuichi's mind.

"The day we broke up," he answered. "Why?"

"He paid me a visit today . . . He said he'd been informed about the meetings you and I have been conducting . . . He also wanted to know what we've been talking about," Tohma stated, his tone now soft and lethal.

Shuichi felt his jaw drop and his eyes widen. Eiri had been there? At NG? The novelist hated entering the building, and the last time Shuichi knew of that Eiri had been there had been the day Ma-kun from ASK had been hospitalized. His mind could not even begin to think of why such an event had happened. Shuichi had made it extremely clear to his former lover it was over and they should not see or speak to each other for a while. They needed time to heal before they could even think of remaining on as friends. Shuichi also wanted to be sure he would not be pulled in again by Eiri's sway. Sometimes, all it took was for a single glance from the novelist, and Shuichi's heart melted like chocolate under a hot summer sun.

"You weren't aware of this?"

Numbly, Shuichi shook his head. He had not been aware of Eiri's actions, but then he had also spent a good portion of his day trying to avoid physical contact with others. Aside from Sakano and his family, no one knew where he lived and he wanted to keep it that way for a little while longer. He was not ready for K's extreme wake-up calls to resume or to give up his privacy. If the manager got too close, it would be the end of his somewhat quiet home life. A tracking device strategically placed would bring it all to a screeching halt.

"I see," Tohma murmured, his voice snapping Shuichi back to what he was supposed to be doing. "So who would have told Eiri about our meetings if you haven't spoken with him?"

"I do know . . . K or Hiro maybe," he replied, becoming defensive. He did not like the implication that he was still seeing Eiri after he had broken up with the man. "I don't keep track of who they talk to. The same thing goes for Eiri. I'm not his babysitter! I . . ."

Somehow, when he had not been paying too much attention, Tohma had closed the distance between them. He now had a finger pressed against Shuichi's lips, effectively cutting the singer off. The dangerous glint had disappeared, replaced with what appeared to be an apologetic shine.

"How silly of me to even think you had contacted him," Tohma whispered as he snaked an arm around Shuichi's waist, "especially since I've been monopolizing all of your free time. Forgive me?"

Sighing a little, Shuichi simply nodded. Then he offered the older man a weak smile.

"Good . . ." Tohma's grip on him tightened, ultimately pulling Shuichi closer. "I'm glad to hear it, but I do believe this calls for a change of plans. If others are aware of our little, er, meetings, it's only a matter of time before we're caught. Wouldn't you agree?"

Again, the vocalist nodded his head. Now that the older man had him close, those strange sensations began to course through Shuichi once more. They always did whenever he and Tohma touched. Never intimately, of course, as Shuichi had his limits, but he did not know how to control the feelings. His stomach knotted up into a thousand twists, his blood felt as if it had been set on fire, and his skin became too sensitive. He became all too aware of how things, like Tohma's hand or his clothing, rubbed against his flesh.

Yet, he never felt aroused whenever Tohma pulled him close. Why, he could not say. He thought he probably should have. It had been months since he had engaged in any kind of sexual activity, and Shuichi could not deny that he found the older man attractive. The former Grasper had a strong, muscular build he often hid behind layers of impeccable clothing. Tohma also had a commanding presence, even when he was being discreet. Shuichi always knew when the blond was around.

It could not have been a bad thing, not feeling the least bit attracted to Tohma, Shuichi figured. Things would not become complicated any more than what they already were. The "relationship" wouldn't be the out-of-breath, head-spinning-so-fast-he-could-not-see kind that he'd had with Eiri. It would not be love because there was no love between them. As far as Shuichi could tell, there would never be any love between he and Tohma.

Love was something Shuichi knew he would have to live without. He accepted that fact when he realized he needed to break up with Eiri.

Lips brushed against his then. . . just as Tohma's fingers slid what felt like a piece of paper between Shuichi's jeans and skin. The vocalist barely refrained from squirming at the contact. Then hot breath ghosted along his ear.

"Read that when you get to wherever you're staying," Tohma instructed, his tone soft and low. "Don't let anyone else see it."

"I won't," Shuichi breathed, feeling cold as the older man let go of him and pulled away. A wink and a smile followed. The game was back on and the vocalist did his best to remain focused. They were, after all, locked in a battle of wills to see who would be the first to fall.

Later, when he was alone in his apartment, Shuichi read what the older man had written, unsure if he should be grateful or not.

 _Excessive Chain – meet me there after work._

 _~Tohma_

The rules had definitely changed.

* * *

"Reiji-sama . . ."

At the sound of her assistant/bodyguard's voice, she turned around to face him. As of late, her thoughts turned towards a certain dark-haired vocalist who could sing like a thousand angels.

For the last two years, regret nibbled away at Reiji. She regretted she had passed up the opportunity to become Shuichi Shindou's girlfriend, though at the time she did not want his sympathy or pity simply because he and his lover were arguing. She also felt he was mocking her and her vulnerability towards him. Now . . . now Reiji was not so sure, and she found herself wondering what if . . .

If she had not told Shuichi to chase after that Yuki character, would he be with her today? Would he be the household name she knew he could be? Would they be married and have children? Truth be told, she still carried a torch for the amethyst singer from Japan, and she wondered if it were even possible for her to make Shuichi hers.

As quickly as the thoughts came to her, Reiji dismissed them. Shuichi Shindou, the love of her life, was enamoured with another. The "what if" was a fruitless endeavor.

"Yes, Bill?" she replied.

"I have the latest news articles regarding Bad Luck," Bill said, bowing a little. He held out said clippings as well as her schedule book and daily planner.

"Thank you, Bill," Reiji murmured, taking the proffered items from the man. She set her daily planner and schedule book down as Bill left the room then settled in to read the latest gossip on Bad Luck.

'One more month,' she told herself. 'One more month, and I _will_ make Shuichi Shindou an offer he can't refuse. Then he'll be mine.'


	4. The Mother of All Pains

Shuichi fought back a groan as he carefully rolled himself out of bed. He had been having one of the best dreams of his life – he had been kissing someone, though he could not recall any distinctive features – when a blinding, white-hot pain had erupted behind his temples. It was going to be one of those days where he knew he would be better off staying in bed. He just knew it.

The mother of all headaches had returned and without warning.

Most of the time, Shuichi could handle having a headache. Two aspirins took care of them, and he could continue with his day. Unfortunately, there was an exception to the two-aspirin rule, and it had started within the last six months.

His head would throb continually, starting at the temples and spreading all the way to back of his head. Everything would be too loud, including normal conversation, and his stomach would rebel at taking in anything other than water. The only things that eased the pain were laying in bed with the lights off and a cool washcloth over his eyes. Self-medicating was not an option in such cases. He had tried once and had swallowed ten aspirins in the course of an hour. Taking that much of the painkillers had not been a good thing, something he knew. If it had not been for the fact that he had been throwing up all that day . . .

'I should tell Sakano-san I'm sick,' he thought, stumbling through his apartment. 'It won't be too far from the truth.'

However, Shuichi knew he could not do such a thing. Bad Luck had an interview at ten with a photo shoot following shortly thereafter. Then the technicians wanted Bad Luck to give the album a final listen to for the thumbs up. After that, the band would decide whether or not push the album's release date forward or wait one more month.

There was also his rendezvous with Seguchi later that night. Backing out on _that_ engagement would be disastrous.

'Can always hope that it goes away . . .'

Somehow, though, Shuichi doubted it. He just hoped he would be forgiven for his less-than-everything performance.

* * *

Sakano glanced nervously at his deathly silent traveling companion before turning his attention back to the road. He really wanted to ask if everything was okay. He really did, but he refrained. The younger man sitting next to him had specifically requested no noise for the drive to work. He did not even want to talk or listen to anyone talking.

Shuichi looked horrible, like he had gone out the night before and got drunk. He knew the vocalist had done no such thing, having checked on the younger man around eleven. The singer had been sound asleep so there had been no reason for Shuichi to appear as he did.

As he drove, Sakano fought back a sigh. So much had changed over the last couple of months, and he wasn't entirely sure he liked some of those changes.

A month and a half ago, Shuichi had moved into the apartment building where he resided. The younger man now lived five doors down from him and on the opposite side of the hall. Why he had moved out of Yuki-san's place, the singer really had not said and refused to say. At the time, it was something about space . . . and needing it. The two had maintained appearances of a happy couple, though. The break up two weeks ago had taken everyone by surprise. Sakano thought it to be odd to say the least but nothing quite as disturbing as Shuichi's behaviour before and after his relationship ended.

No one else in the Bad Luck team knew where Shuichi was living. The singer had told him as much. He had also made Sakano promise to not tell anyone. When he felt it was time, he would say, but not until he was ready. Given his unique status among the Shindou clan, Sakano had been rather obliged to give his word. The last thing he wanted was to be on Maiko's bad side. The young girl, to him, was scarier than Mika Seguchi on a good day. He had just hoped things would eventually get better.

Unfortunately, his hopes had been dashed. Things had not improved. Since he had moved into his new apartment, Shuichi had become quiet and withdrawn. He kept his television off and very rarely played any music. Even his best friend, Hiroshi Nakano, did not know of Shuichi's whereabouts. His singing had not been affected by these changes in events, but Sakano believed it to be a matter of time before the younger man crumpled and collapsed.

'Guess it can't be helped, though,' he told himself, pulling into his usual parking spot at NG. 'I just hope he isn't coming down with something. Today's a very big day . . . for everyone.'

* * *

Every part of his head ached. The pain behind his eyes would not go away and it made everything difficult. He just wanted to go back to his apartment and sleep . . . if his headache would allow him to do so.

'I can't do this, I can't . . .' A quick glance at his companions, though, told him he would have to carry on. It was important for them, important for the band, to be there. He had to at least try.

Unfortunately, the loud music blaring was not helping him any. It was meant to put the band at ease and in the mood for the interview, but the sounds only served to further aggravate the pounding in Shuichi's head. The sounds entered his brain and kept time with the throbbing that was steadily growing worse. Why did they have to play the music so loud anyway? Could they not turn it down, if only a fraction?

Shuichi was about to ask if they could lower the volume of the music when some kind of food smell – donuts, he believed – reached his nostrils. His stomach lurched at the normally pleasing scent and he was heading for the bathroom . . .

* * *

"I see," Tohma murmured, a light frown gracing his features. "Thank you for informing me of this . . . I'll be sure to talk to them about this . . . Yes . . . Yes . . . I understand . . . have a good day."

He hung up the phone, his frown deepening. At the last possible moment, Bad Luck had cleared its entire day. One of the members – specifically, Shindou – had claimed illness. Why the singer had claimed to be sick, Tohma was not entirely sure. Shindou had been fine the previous day and somewhat back to his energetic self once out of the NG building. They'd had a relatively pleasant evening at Excessive Chain, a new hotel and restaurant that had opened within the last month. Granted, the singer had refused to drink anything other than water but Tohma had accepted that some time before so he kept himself to one glass of wine then water for the rest of the evening. The blond also knew that the vocalist had not contracted food poisoning as Tohma ordered the same thing for them to eat. Shindou had not once complained about the food tasting terrible or funny. Tohma would have known. The younger man's eyes would have given him away. So why had Shindou claimed to be ill?

'Better get the band up here to find out what happened,' he thought, reaching for his phone.

He was just about to contact his secretary and have her send for the band once they returned to NG when someone knocked on his door. Slightly irritated, but refusing to show it, Tohma glanced up and called for the person to enter. A rather nervous-looking Sakano stepped in. Tohma could tell his former manager's anxiety levels were high as well. The younger man kept wringing his hands.

"Forgive me for the intrusion, Seguchi-san, but I thought you should know . . . we've had to clear Bad Luck's schedule for the day," Sakano said, bowing as he spoke. "It was rather unexpected but necessary."

"So I've heard . . . Shindou-san has fallen ill," Tohma murmured. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," the producer said as he shook his head. "He didn't look well when he came in this morning, but he insisted on carrying out the day."

"Which isn't happening," Tohma pointed out.

"I know," Sakano said with a sigh. "I had to send him home. I thought he looked horrible when he got here. He was worse by the time he was done in the bathroom."

"So he did get sick?"

"Yes, Seguchi-san," Sakano nodded. "Extremely sick. He couldn't keep to his feet."

"Did he say what made him ill?" Tohma inquired. From what he had been told by the magazine editor, Bad Luck's vocalist's eyes were bloodshot. He had worn sunglasses into the building, and he had initially refused to take them off once inside. K had convinced the singer otherwise and then singer kept squinting and hiding his eyes behind his arms. It was when they brought in something for the band to eat, namely several pastry treats, that the vocalist had half-run, half-stumbled towards the bathroom, proceeding to empty out his stomach. The magazine editor was convinced that Shindou had arrived either drunk or with the granddaddy of all hangovers.

To Tohma, it did sound as if the vocalist might have overdone it on the drinking, but he did not believe it to be so. Shindou had confessed to him that he rarely drank anything with alcohol in it. The younger man had said something about not trusting himself with the stuff. Tohma privately believed it had something to do with the split. If Shindou drank then he would start to miss Eiri all over again, and he would be chasing the novelist just to ease the pain of separation.

"From the way he was acting, Seguchi-san, I'd say it was everything. He acted as if his head was hurting him."

"I see . . . did he take anything for it?" Tohma asked, frowning a little. To him, it was starting to sound like Shindou was suffering more from a migraine than a hangover.

"No . . . he refused . . . said it wouldn't do any good . . ." Sakano paused then let out a sigh. "Seguchi-san . . . this isn't the first time he's had to leave here sick . . . I'm worried about it. What if it happens again while Bad Luck's on tour? We can't afford for any potential shows to be cancelled!"

Tohma raised an eyebrow at that. This was the first time he had ever heard of the vocalist leaving due to illness. In the past, Shindou had called in before disappearing for a week or so at a time. The change in behaviour was odd and a little out of character for the singer.

'Not really,' he quickly amended, remembering who he had hired to be Bad Luck's manger. 'K wouldn't stand for something like. He'd drag Shindou in no matter what. And Sakano does have a point. We can't have our star vocalist getting sick like this while on tour. It would . . . most unfortunate.'

"I see," Tohma murmured. "Tell me, Sakano-san, how often it's happened. And I want to know _everything_."

"Yes, Seguchi-san. Of course."


	5. A Horrid Mistake

K could not help but glance back and forth between Tohma and Shuichi. There was something going on when it came to the two musicians; he could tell by how they behaved around the other or when the other's name would be mentioned. He also felt it in the pit of his stomach but had no way of proving anything. Shuichi had become far too clever over the last few weeks for him to find out anything. The vocalist kept to himself, avoided physical contact as much as possible, and made sure he left nothing of his alone with anyone, not even Hiro. It drove K insane with distraction, especially since he had no idea as to where Shuichi lived. He could not do his job properly if he could not keep tabs on the singer at all times, and he did not think Shuichi truly realized it.

Mentally, K shook his head. He had to keep himself focused on the task at hand, which was the impromptu meeting with Tohma Seguchi. He, Shuichi, and Sakano had been called to the president's office less than ten minutes ago, presumably to talk about the vocalist's strange behaviour yesterday. Bad Luck's schedule had been cleared because of Shuichi going home sick. K had not been happy about canceling everything, and he figured Tohma had not been too thrilled about it, either. A lot of money was riding on Bad Luck, after all, and everyone needed Shuichi to keep it together. However, Sakano insisted that Shuichi be allowed to leave for the day. Given how violently sick the singer had become, K agreed, and the producer escorted Shuichi out of the building – per Shuichi's request. Of course, K knew it could not have been helped, either. Something at the site had triggered something in Shuichi to make him violently ill, and no one knew what it was.

"What happened yesterday, Shindou-san?" Tohma inquired, his quiet voice slicing through K's brief reverie. It also brought him back to the moment at hand, and the direness of the situation felt like a crushing weight on K's shoulders. He wanted to get Shuichi out of there before Tohma said or did something that would send the young man over the edge, but he knew he could not. There were important issues at hand. The vocalist shrugged in response.

"I had a headache," he replied. "That's all."

"The magazine's editor said you looked like you had a hangover," the blond said pointedly. To this, Shuichi's expression turned to one of irritation. "Is that true?"

"No, it wasn't. I don't drink before an interview. I never have, and I never will. I had a headache. That's all. No big deal," the singer grumbled, his eyes glinting. K watched as Tohma's eyes narrowed, his own irritation becoming evident.

"A headache does not make one violently ill, Shindou-san, and I have it on very good authority that you were sick. Now I ask you again, what happened yesterday? Were you hung over?"

K, of course, knew that Tohma's words about headaches were not true. Migraine headaches sometimes caused people to be sick to their stomachs, and he had no doubts the former Grasper knew that as well. The emerald-eyed man was trying to get Shuichi to confess to something, possibly to some kind of substance abuse. He may not have liked the tactic employed, but K was also very aware of how much Bad Luck's vocalist admired the members of Nittle Grasper. Despite the hells Tohma and Ryuichi had put him through, the young, dark-haired man remained a die-hard fan. If pushed correctly, Shuichi would tell Tohma anything and everything the older man asked him, and Tohma knew it. This time would be no different. K felt certain of that.

"I had a headache," Shuichi repeated, keeping his voice steady. "And, yes, it _did_ make me sick yesterday. I don't care if you believe me or not, but that's the truth."

"I see," Tohma murmured, his tone becoming softer than before. The irritation also disappeared from his eyes, and K felt a chill steal over him. He _hated_ that tone, especially when it was directed towards one of his artists. When Tohma spoke in his soft and quiet voice, it often did not bode well for the one who invoked the keyboardist's wrath. "A headache that causes one to be ill . . . and you haven't gone to a doctor for this because?"

"It's just a headache," the vocalist stated. "What's a doctor going to do for me? Tell me to take some aspirin for it? Please. It doesn't work. I know. I've tried."

"Shindou-san, please," Sakano interjected. "This could be very serious. At least go and talk to someone about this."

"Yes," Tohma agreed. "Please do. Before you end up collapsing on stage because of this. You would not want that to happen, now would you?"

Damn, Tohma knew how to play dirty! Mention anything about touring and Shuichi crumpled. It never failed, and it was another thing that Tohma Seguchi knew he could use against the singer. To K, however, there was something else in the younger blond's voice, something he could not quite place. He knew he should have been able to, especially since he was a married man, but the nameless thing refused to say. It skirted around in his brain and evaded his attempts to catch it.

'Much like Shuichi lately,' he mused darkly.

Shuichi must have been recognized whatever had hidden itself in Tohma's voice. The vocalist's shoulders slumped and he nodded his agreement.

"No . . . I don't want that . . ."

"Then it's settled. K-san, please clear the first portion of Bad Luck's day. Sakano-san, make the appointment and get Shindou-san in as soon as possible. The earlier the better."

"Yes, Seguchi-san," Sakano murmured, bowing. The producer turned to leave, Tohma's dismissal obvious.

K also bowed and turned to leave. He knew Shuichi was getting off lucky. The meeting could have been a lot worse. Tohma could have said . . .

"Shindou-san, I'd like to speak with you. In private please."

K felt his back stiffen as the words came from the president's mouth. He hated it when Tohma pulled stunts like this. He wanted to be able to watch over Shuichi when Tohma wanted to have these private talks and to make sure the vocalist was not backed into a corner. The former Grasper had a tendency to do that on occasion, more often than not when it came to his beloved Eiri Yuki.

However, he had his orders and he did not dare put them off. However, he knew if he got everything done quickly enough, he would be able to sneak back and find out exactly what Tohma was scheming. In the meantime, he had a job to carry out, as much as he disliked canceling anything. It was bad publicity.

* * *

Tohma waited for a few moments after the door clicked shut before stepping out from behind his desk. He could tell by the way that Shindou had completely relaxed that K and Sakano were out of earshot. The vocalist had a tendency to listen very carefully when it came to approaching others or when another person walked towards him, Tohma had noticed. Why, he did no know, but he was not about to question the vocalist about it. Not when his habit happened to be quite useful.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Shindou commented a moment later, his voice soft. "It was just a headache. No big deal."

Tohma smiled a little at the vocalist's words. The younger man had matured at some point when Tohma had not been paying any attention. While he loved the attention people gave him – Tohma had seen that sparkle in the youth's eyes when Bad Luck had given interviews and live performances – Shindou had started to downplay things he felt were not a big deal. His reluctance to see a doctor for what sounded like a migraine proved that.

"It's more than a headache," Tohma murmured, catching the singer's attention. "From what I have been told, you may have had a migraine, Shuichi."

"A migraine?" the singer echoed. "You mean, like the ones Eiri gets?"

Tohma nodded. He felt a little more than surprised to hear Shuichi knew of Eiri's migraines, though he knew he should not have. Eiri and Shuichi had lived together for a couple of years. There were some things the singer was bound to notice or that he could not ignore.

"Yes. A migraine, and such headaches can be quite serious."

"Oh . . ."

The younger man fell silent, and appeared to be considering Tohma's words. Then the vocalist exhaled, lowering his head.

"I'm sorry about last night. I should have –"

"Shh." He was close enough to Shindou to touch the younger man. Tohma smiled again as he pressed a finger against the vocalist's lips. "It's all right. Things like that do happen on occasion, and I would be a fool if I did not recognize them. Would you not agree?"

"'Fool' isn't a word I'd apply to you," Shindou replied, the beginnings of a smile tugging on his lips.

"And my point is proven," Tohma said, winking at the younger man. Then his expression became somber, serious. "I do wish for you to see a doctor about this, Shuichi. If it is a migraine, there are pain medications he can prescribe for you to take, drugs stronger than aspirin. The last thing anyone needs is for you to collapse from one while you're on stage."

"I know and I'll go. I'll be fine. I promise."

"I will hold you to that," Tohma said, lightly kissing the younger man. "Now hurry along. I'm sure Sakano-san has that appointment made. The sooner you see the doctor, the better."

"Okay . . ."

Reluctantly, Shindou pulled away from him and left his office without another word or sound. Tohma watched the singer go, a light smile touching his features once more.

He knew, somehow, the vocalist would have done as he had asked. It was something else he was learning about Shindou. The younger man _liked_ to be fussed over, _without_ any prompting from anyone. As long as he knew, or believed, that someone cared enough to say something, Shindou was very eager to please.

Tohma had yet to put that newfound knowledge to use. Why, he could not fully explain, if only to himself. He simply had not exploited such knowledge yet, and it warranted serious consideration on his part. He had the vocalist where he wanted him, after all.

'Later,' he told himself. 'I'll think about it later.'

Tohma turned back around and sat behind his desk once more, his smile still in place. He had a lot to get done before the day was over. His paperwork would not complete itself, and he also wanted to plan for the next rendezvous with Shuichi. Their little date would at least provide some distraction from the tedious day looming before him.

Tohma had just settled himself into his chair and had picked up the first document of the day when someone knocked on the door. A second later, his secretary stuck her head inside. She looked troubled.

"Pardon the intrusion, Seguchi-san, but your wife is here to see you . . ."

* * *

He felt like running, but not because he felt afraid. It was far from the truth, really. Shuichi wanted to run because he felt so good. He felt like he could fly, if only he had wings. Somehow, when he had not been looking, the world had become brand new and shiny all over again. Anything was possible, and it had him feeling alive.

Of course, he figured it had something to do with Tohma Seguchi and the time the two of them had been spending together. Perhaps the older man slipped some kind of drug into his drinks when Shuichi was not looking, a kind of drug with no odor or taste and left one feeling so damn happy all the time with no bad side effects. Tohma Seguchi definitely had the connections to find a drug like that. At least, Shuichi believed he did. There was not anything the blonde could not do or find, after all, and Shuichi liked him for that.

However, the vocalist did not care if his boss was slipping him drugs or not. He felt good about himself, and the decisions he had been making lately – for the first time in months. Shuichi did not exactly want to lose that feeling. He was not about to admit he looked forward to seeing Tohma at Excessive Chain or that he enjoyed it when the older man kissed him and held him close. Sure, his stomach still churned and his blood simmered under the surface, but it was nothing like what he had experienced with Eiri. His head remained clear so such thoughts were buried in the recesses of his mind. Such thoughts had also been banned from ever being brought to light. He'd had a month to convince himself he was not in love with Tohma, especially since the older man had insisted he see a doctor for his headaches. It was a game between them and nothing more, and he would escape the charade all right.

Still, he could not deny he felt like himself again. The night before saw him listening to music again for the first time since he left Eiri, and he enjoyed it. It did not feel like such a chore. Shuichi had even answered his cell phone, something he had not done since he moved out of Eiri's apartment – the landline and his apartment were in his father's name, small guarantees to keep unwanted people from pestering him. His life was starting to get back to normal, and Shuichi liked it. Nothing and no one could ruin his mood, not even the media and their annoying questions about his private life, like his current situation.

Currently, he sat on a plush couch, Hiro and Suguru on either side of him, as some reporter for some television station asked question after question. Eiri sat in a chair next to the woman's desk. Politely, everyone answered her queries, but Shuichi did not want to be there. He wanted to be outside, to enjoy the slightly overcast day, and to just be free. He had some plans to carry out, and he could not do what he needed to do when he was stuck there.

Finally, the interview ended, and Shuichi began to make his way to the exit with one of the station's crew members, baseball cap and sunglasses in hand. Bad Luck's day was over, but he still had a lot to do. His parents' anniversary was coming up within the next week – they had been married for twenty-five years – and he and his sister had decided to throw them a nice little surprise bash. He and Maiko had also agreed on anniversary gifts for their mother and father – two gold watches with their names and their wedding date engraved on the backs and two round-trip tickets to Jamaica (the honeymoon the Shindou matriarch had dreamed about but his father could never afford). Given he had the money and the means, Shuichi had volunteered to pay for everything, telling Maiko could repay him at a later date. He would not collect on the "loan" to his sister, though, not when he knew what Sakano-san had in mind as a gift for his parents (and he probably never would. It was his sister). Shuichi smirked when he thought of Sakano's gift. The night, when it finally arrived, would definitely be a memorable one for everyone there.

As he walked away from the set, a hand reached out and pulled him back a little. Confused and somewhat shocked, Shuichi looked at the one who had grabbed him and met a very familiar golden gaze.

"Shuichi," Eiri murmured. "You're looking good."

"Thanks," he replied, offering his former lover a faint smile. He thought Eiri sounded surprised at how well he was doing. "So do you. I'm glad to hear that things are going great for you."

"Hmm."

The novelist fell silent for a moment, his eyes searching Shuichi's intently. What he hoped to find, Shuichi could not say, but he found he did not get lost in the older man's gaze. They were friends and nothing more. Eiri stopped almost as soon as he started then he took a few steps away. Then the blond smiled at him, a genuine yet sad smile.

"It was good to see you again. Take care of yourself, okay?"

Shuichi merely smiled at that before heading out the door, his hat and sunglasses in place. He had a lot to get done, and he still had his rendezvous with Tohma to prepare for. It was going to be a very good day. He felt it all the way to his core.

* * *

Eiri brought his cigarette to his lips and took a long drag from it, watching the smoke trailing lazily towards the ceiling of his apartment. It had finally happened. He never thought it would but it had. Shuichi had truly left him, and he had been reduced to friendship status. On live television, no less.

It had hurt, hearing the young vocalist say those words, but not nearly as much as looking into Shuichi's eyes had. Happiness emanated from those amethyst depths, a happiness Eiri had not seen for several months, and seeing such an emotion had driven another realization into him. He had lost the singer to someone else. There was no winning Shuichi back. The vocalist would fight him every step of the way, and the only ending they would have would be one of misery.

"If you were trying to win him back, you failed miserably," a voice commented. "You should have said something more to him, anything really. You still love him!"

"Yes . . . I still love him," Eiri conceded, exhaling. "But he doesn't love me anymore. Not like he used to, anyway. He's in love with someone else."

"Are you sure about that?" the other person demanded.

"Very sure . . . He's never looked _that_ good before. At least . . . he hasn't in a very long time," he murmured. His eyes remained locked on the ceiling. "I'd be a complete bastard, and a fool, if I tried to take that away from him. And I can't do that. I can't stand to see him sad."

"You still _are_ a bastard," his companion spat out. "I can't believe you're not going to fight for him! After the hell he went through for you, you could at least put some effort for him. You're such a prick, Yuki-san!"

Eiri narrowed his eyes. For some reason, those words stung, especially coming from _him_. He wanted his companion to take them back, but also knew the truth behind what had been said. He was a prick. That was what had cost him Shuichi in the first place, that and his own selfish tendencies. Angrily, he stubbed out his cigarette and crossed the room, cornering his visitor in a matter of scant moments. The tension between them, which had already been thick, grew tenfold.

"Oh really?" Eiri sneered. "If that's the case, why are you so adamant that I win Shuichi back, hm? I thought you wanted him to be happy."

"I do want him to be happy. I know you make him happy, despite the shit you've put him through, and I know that he still loves you. He –"

"Has moved on with his life. He's found someone new, and he's gotten over what's happened. So should you."

Dark eyes stared in defiance and anger at him. Oh, he had the younger man pissed off now, but also very aroused. Eiri felt his companion's growing erection against his thigh. He smirked then leaned in closer. The two had not touched each other since that one drunken yet fateful night that had brought Eiri's world crashing around his feet. The media had it right about that one night of indiscretion on his part. Shuichi had been damn near a saint to lie for the following month, putting on a show for the entire world to see. Hell, in Eiri's mind, that month long performance should have earned the singer some acting award. He pressed even closer to his companion, the familiar feelings of lust and desire starting to burn him with everything they had.

"Yes. You should definitely get over what's happened . . . Hiro-kun."

* * *

Tohma tapped his fingers against the tabletop before glancing at his watch for the fifth time. Shindou was late, by an hour, and the blonde did not like it. Such tardiness was inexcusable. He did not appreciate being made to wait for anything or anyone.

Of course, Tohma had a rather good idea as to why the singer was running late. He tried calling Shindou on his cell phone several times, only to have the connection end each time. Frustrated, and feeling slightly suspicious of his would-be lover's actions, Tohma had called Eiri on a whim. Why, he did not know. He simply had to call the novelist, if only to reassure himself Shindou was not there. The sounds of pleasure coming from the other end had nauseated him, and he promptly ended the call.

He had . . . failed. Despite Shindou's apparent interest in him, he had failed to keep the vocalist away from Eiri, and it angered him greatly. Tohma already swore he would get his revenge on the singer. Shindou just needed to arrive . . . if he dared.

The door to the room opening caught his attention, and Tohma glanced over just in time to see a breathless Shindou entering. He stared as the vocalist slid the door shut and kicked off his shoes. Then that amethyst gaze fell on him, and the younger man smiled, his features lighting up.

"Sorry I'm late," the singer said as he tried to catch his breath. "I had to run all the way here."

He had to run? Tohma raised an eyebrow at that statement. Then he remembered his phone call to Eiri.

'Of course, he'd have to run, especially since he'd been with Eiri.'

The thought chewed away at him, causing him to be angrier than what he originally had been the moment before. Shindou had a lot of nerve.

"Why are you late?" he asked, keeping his emotions at bay. He wanted to hear how Shindou would respond, to see if he would give anything away about his whereabouts. The thought never crossed his mind he was jealous of his soon-to-be former brother-in-law.

"Had some errands to run after the interview today," the vocalist replied, his tone cheerful. "Fortunately, everything I bought could fit into my backpack. That would not have been fun, running with more than one bag. I hate doing that."

Tohma said nothing to the younger man's dialogue. Instead, he watched as Shindou slip his backpack off and cross the room. Within the space of seconds, the vocalist had reached the table and now sat on the opposite side. The bright smile that had greeted Tohma never wavered.

"I tried to call you."

"You did?" Tohma inquired. Shindou nodded.

"Yeah. My phone kept cutting me off, though. Did the same thing when you were calling me. Kept searching for a signal for some reason . . . must not have liked where I was at. I know the battery's still charged."

For the first time in over an hour, Tohma felt some of his ire ebb away and a smile tug on his lips. The vocalist's enthusiasm somehow always managed to spread, and it was genuine, too. Tohma found it impossible at times to remain angry with the singer. The younger man was simply too genuine and sweet for his own good. However, Shindou still had not explained where he had been and what he had been doing. There also was the phone call Tohma had made to Eiri. He wanted answers for that as well.

"I see," he said, his eyes still on the singer. "Did you have a good time running your errands?"

"Kind of," the vocalist responded, nodding his head a little. "It was my first time talking to a travel agent on my own. That's what took me so long. The guy kept going on and on about how he'd been to Jamaica and how it was lovely there and how he'd like to go again, but he was a nice enough guy. I didn't want to be rude and just walk away. At least the trip into the jewelry store was easy."

Jamaica? Jewelry? The conversation had definitely become intriguing, but it did nothing to allay Tohma's suspicions or to allay the jealousy he was trying to ignore. If anything, the vocalist's words were confirming that he and Eiri had reconciled. The thought of the two getting back together bothered Tohma greatly. If he had not known better, he would have thought himself to be jealous. Of Eiri, no less! The thought was simply too preposterous to even entertain.

"Jamaica . . . I'm sure you and Eiri will have a nice time there."

In an instant, the smile on Shindou vanished. His eyes took on a hard edge.

"I told you that it was over between me and Eiri, Tohma, and for good. There is no going back. I'm over him."

"Then why were you with him earlier when I called his place?" Tohma asked. He kept his eyes on Shindou, trying to discern what were the lies and what was truth.

"I wasn't with Eiri earlier. I told you. I was running errands."

Tohma folded his arms, his gaze locked with Shindou's. He had a feeling that perhaps he was pushing too hard, that the vocalist might have meant it when he said the relationship with Eiri was over, but Tohma could not bring himself to listen to that voice. He had heard such a thing before, when he had tried to separate Eiri and Shindou. He'd also had enough of the charade and he was going to end it, crushing Shindou in the process.

"And why should I believe you, Shindou-san? The relationship has ended a few times before and you've always chased after Eiri. You've always been very devoted to him so why should I believe you now? Isn't this just a game on your part? To keep me from Eiri so you can continue chasing him when I'm not looking?" he inquired. The vocalist flinched as if he had been slapped. Then he lowered his eyes, blue and raven locks hiding part of his face.

"Because I'm here with you. That's why. But it isn't enough, is it? It would never be enough for you. Nothing ever is. I guess I forgot for a while who I was dealing with." He sighed then straightened, rising to his feet. "Thank you for reminding me, _Seguchi_ -san."

Quickly, the vocalist strode towards the door, shouldering his backpack and slipping his shoes back on. As he did, something inside Tohma's mind screamed at him, telling him to apologize, and to take back what he had just said. The game was no longer worth playing, something had changed along the way, and he had just made a very large blunder. Instead, he merely sat there, stunned and numb, only able to watch as Shindou prepared to leave.

Just as the vocalist reached for the door, he paused and turned back around. The injured look on his face stabbed Tohma in his heart, and his breath hitched in his chest. It was happening. The vocalist was leaving him, though he could not figure out why it scared him. Then the singer spoke one final time before disappearing out the door.

"I have no reason to go back to Eiri. Not when I'm the one who left him. Not when he loves someone else. I thought you'd be able to see that. Then again, maybe I've taken up too much of your time for you to see. He doesn't love me anymore. He hasn't loved me for some time now. He loves Hiro."


	6. Old Memories Resurface

He had opened a wound he should have left alone. He saw that now. The pain and unshed tears in the vocalist's eyes had indicated as much. Yet his pride had kept him from reaching out, from taking the younger man back into his arms and kissing him senseless. His pride had told him he had accomplished what he had set out to do while his conscious claimed it had been a hollow victory, that he had gained nothing in the end.

Had he set out to obtain something when he started the affair with Shindou? He thought he had not, at least not for himself, but Tohma was not so sure anymore. As odd as it may have sounded, he _had_ enjoyed spending time with Shuichi Shindou. The vocalist had a vibrancy that remained unique and unrivaled. Tasting it for himself had left Tohma wanting more, and his heart ached with the knowledge he may have destroyed his chance for a love unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

Emerald eyes gazed at him from the other side of the mirror. They shimmered with tears though he refused to let them fall. He had held them back for the past week, since Shindou had walked out on him. Stubborn and prideful, he admitted, but it was better than the alternative, better than conceding he had quite possibly destroyed another innocent soul. He still blamed himself for the Kitazawa incident and how it had destroyed Eiri, and his mind likened the situation with Shindou to that. Such thoughts were depressing and adding to a guilt he would never been able to alleviate.

Somewhere, inside his mind, a small voice had screamed at him for starting anything with Shuichi Shindou, and it had continued to do so for the last week. If he had not started the affair with Bad Luck's vocalist, then he could have moved forward after his divorce, instead of regressing back into a lovesick teen. If he had not become involved with the singer then he would still be in control over his emotions and his concentration. If he had not started anything then he would miss the younger man as much as he did. If he had not . . .

If he had not started anything with Shuichi Shindou Tohma knew he would have nothing to miss. Everything about the vocalist – his smile, his enthusiasm, the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, his kiss – would not have become ingrained into Tohma's memories. It frustrated the blonde to know this, to feel as he did. He was not supposed to have fallen for the younger man, dammit! Things were not supposed to have turned as they had. Tohma had lost control over the situation with Shindou. Somehow, when he had not been paying attention (something he was noticing about himself a lot lately), the vocalist had crept into a place in his heart, a place he had kept reserved for people like Eiri, Mika, Ryuichi, and Noriko. The little voice had screamed at him for that as well.

Its argument had gotten weaker of the last seven days, and Tohma no longer cared to listen. As he gazed at his reflection, he found he did not care about losing control over his emotions, or about letting Shuichi Shindou into his heart. He still had the ability to show the world what he wanted to see and when. The only thing about him that had truly changed were his feelings towards Shuichi Shindou. All he had to do, in his mind, was win the vocalist back. Once he did that, he could have what he desired most in his life.

As he thought of what he truly wanted, Tohma let out a small and cynical laugh before shaking his head. It took watching Shuichi leaving him for him to realize what he truly wanted in his life. Power and control meant nothing if there was no one for him to protect and love. He craved Shuichi's touch and kisses more than anything.

'I'll make it up to you, Shuichi. Somehow, I will.'

* * *

"Hey, Shuichi . . . is everything okay?"

He raised tired eyes to look at Hiro, the guitarist standing over him. The band had an hour break before K came to get them for the next round of interviews. He saw his best friend wore a concerned expression, but Shuichi did not answer right away. It took a moment for the question to even register in his brain, he was that tired, but, once it did, he nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine," he murmured. "Just tired."

"I can see that," Hiro replied, sitting next to him. "The question is why are you so tired?"

Shuichi sighed at his long-time friend's words. There was not much he could say other than he had not been sleeping well for the last week. Ending his so-called relationship with Tohma had taken a rather large toll on him. He cried himself to sleep at night as he cursed himself for falling in love with the older man, and he knew that he had. Tohma saying his name formally a week ago had told him as much – he had hated hearing it; the blond's had sounded cold and venomous, and had hurt him worse than any slap to the face ever would – and Shuichi hated himself for letting his emotions get the better of him. It had always been a game between them, he should have known better! The fact Tohma had also called him out on that felt like a razor-edged knife slicing into his heart, and it made Shuichi ill to even think about it.

'I did. I did know better but I still fell for him anyway. I should have known he'd never feel the same way. Damn, I'm such an idiot!'

Shuichi sighed again. The "relationship" with Tohma ending had left him feeling vulnerable. Hell, it left him feeling extremely vulnerable and insecure. The day after the split, when he was on his way back home from grocery shopping, he thought he had seen a familiar face. It was a face he had never forgotten and had hoped to never see again. Too many bad memories surrounded that face, memories that were best left alone, and Shuichi had started to panic.

However, when he stopped to check, to make sure he had not been seeing things, Shuichi had not caught a single trace of the man. He had then quickly dismissed the notion of seeing one of his rapists again as part of his imagination and got his breathing under control. Tokyo was a very large city, and it was entirely possible there were people out there who resembled his attackers. He was looking for trouble if he kept jumping at shadows. His reasoning had not put his mind completely at ease, though, but he had accepted it. He did not want any reminders of his rape so he did not look for any.

For the last week, his sleep had been riddled with nightmares as the memories surged forward. They refused to be forgotten and buried, and they reminded him of how stupid and weak he had been. He had started to blame himself for letting his guard drop over the last few months. Tohma had somehow had that effect on him.

"Shu?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you're all right?" Hiro inquired. "You don't look so good."

"I'll be fine," he murmured, blinking his eyes. For the briefest of moments, he considered telling Hiro about the nightmares – the guitarist had been there to help him through that hellish time – but quickly refrained. As much as he needed someone to talk to about his dreams, the last thing Shuichi wanted was for Hiro to worry about him more than what he already did. The guitarist would more than likely end up telling Eiri. The two had developed a strange habit of teaming up against him when he least expected it. That was how Eiri had found out about the rape in the first place, and Shuichi still was not too happy with Hiro for telling his former lover. Then again, Hiro felt it was more Eiri's place to deal with Taki Aizawa since everything Shuichi endured that night was for the novelist.

"What's going on, Shu? I've never seen you so worn out before."

"It's – "

"Excitement for this tour," a female voice stated. "How could he not be? It's going to be the best Bad Luck tour ever. I know it is. I'm back."

Shuichi fought back a groan as he and Hiro both turned their heads in Reiji's direction. Her timing could not have been worse, especially with a great deal of his insecurities coming back. He really did not want to deal with both her and K's fanatical tendencies, not with the tour coming up and his heart on the mend. She was just another person for Shuichi to avoid until he felt strong enough to be around people again, and he did not feel like he had the strength to dodge both her and K at the same time.

"You're back?" Suguru echoed. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means she's here because our contract with NG," Hiro answered. "It's almost up."

"Exactly," Reiji replied, smirking in the process. She folded her arms in front of her. "I'm sure I can offer Bad Luck a much better deal than what Seguchi-san could, especially in light of recent events."

Shuichi had to admit that Reiji sounded very confident, very sure of herself and her negotiating skills. She _had_ nearly won him over several years ago. Things, however, had been different back then. He had been trying to forget about Eiri and the fact the author had "left" him for Tohma. Reiji's offer had been very tempting. Now he did not even think she could offer him what he truly wanted. No one could. Then Hiro's words finally caught up with him. Bad Luck's contract was almost up? Tohma had not said anything to him about it.

'Maybe he was waiting for the right time to use it against me,' he thought, slowly and unsteadily rising to his feet. 'That would be just like him.'

"How did she find out?" Suguru demanded. Shuichi thought it to be a very good question.

"I was your manager for a while, remember? I've seen your contract and wrote the date down. I've been following Bad Luck's career ever since. Like I said, I'm sure I can make you guys a deal you can't refuse."

Again, Reiji sounded smug and very sure of herself. Of course she would remember something important like a contract ending. She probably had not even gotten over her obsession with him, a thought that disturbed Shuichi. Her gaze then landed on him, and she frowned.

"You really should get some sleep, Shuichi-chan. You do look terrible."

"Gee," he murmured. "Thanks." He chose to ignore what she just called him. He was too tired to really argue about it and her term of endearment only proved to him that she had remained obsessed.

"It's the truth," Reiji stated, a pout replacing her frown and her arms crossing in front of her chest. "You really should take better care of yourself! We can't have you collapsing on stage!"

"I'm fine!" he snapped, his patience suddenly wearing thin. He hated it when people treated him like he was an idiot! He knew he had to take care of himself and he had been doing a damn good job of doing so, in his opinion. "I just need a cup of coffee and I'll be good to go, okay? Now if you'll excuse me . . ."

Shuichi grabbed his backpack and stormed out the lounge door, making sure he stayed well out of Reiji's reach as he did so. Past experience with the girl had taught him she could be just as stubborn and determined as K when it came to tracking someone down, and Shuichi _still_ did not want to give up his private life. Despite the fallout with Tohma, Shuichi had started to enjoy being on his own. He just ate more take-out than what he had before, but he still survived.

'Things will get better,' he told himself, walking quickly towards the elevators. 'They have to. How could they get any worse?'

"Shindou-san," a familiar voice called out. "A word with you please. If you have a moment, that is."

Freezing and wince a little, Shuichi sighed. He silently berated himself for trying to be optimistic, not when he could still end up seeing Tohma. It was foolish on his part, but something he also knew could not be helped, not when he worked for the older man. Drawing a deep breath, Shuichi steeled himself for whatever the president of NG had in mind. Shuichi turned around and nodded, smiling as brightly as he possibly could. At least he would be able to get away from Reiji, if only for a short amount of time.

"Of course, Seguchi-san. Of course."

* * *

Things were . . . awkward between he and Shuichi. Tohma disliked it when situations and conversations were awkward. It often meant his planning was not going the way he intended, and he had spent a good portion of his morning trying to figure out exactly how he would approach Shuichi and what he would say. Once he decided on his course of action, Tohma sent his plans into play. Now everything he had in mind had vanished. The singer had somehow chased those thoughts away, and he idly wondered if Shuichi had had the same effect on Eiri when they had been together. Then he instantly berated himself for becoming distracted from the task at hand, which namely was trying to talk to the younger man.

At least getting Shuichi to leave N-G with him had not been too terribly difficult. The younger man had been rather eager to get away and Tohma believed Reiji's appearance might have had something to do with Shuichi's change in attitude. Currently, they were in Tohma's car and on their way to some place a little more . . . secluded, like Tohma's apartment. Granted, Shuichi did not know that, but it did not matter at the moment. It would be a surprise for the vocalist, and a chance for Tohma to find out more about Eiri's new relationship with Hiroshi Nakano.

Shuichi's revelation had actually taken him by surprise. Not many could accomplish such a feat anymore, and he could not help but wonder when the change had taken place. Tohma just was not entirely sure on how to bring up the subject of Eiri and Nakano-san once more, and Shuichi had become eerily silent the moment they had gotten into the car and left the studio.

"You want to know about Eiri and Hiro, don't you?"

The voice that spoke did not sound like it belonged to the vocalist. Sadness and exhaustion had woven their way into the words said, causing Tohma to cast a quick glance at the younger man. The singer had definitely seen better days, he decided, and Tohma vowed he d do something about Shuichi's weariness. His eyes darted back to the traffic in front of them. They had just come to a stop, and it did not appear as if they were going to be moving anytime soon. Since Shuichi had finally said something . . .

"That is one thing I wanted to discuss," Tohma conceded, choosing his words carefully. He did not want to scare Shuichi off. If he did, there was no telling when he would see the vocalist again, and he found he actually wanted to be alone with Shuichi more than he wanted to hear about Eiri and Nakano-san.

"Doesn't surprise me," the vocalist murmured, a soft yet ragged sigh escaping him. "I don't blame you for wanting to know, not where Eiri's concerned."

Tohma found he could not say anything to that. It shocked him Shuichi had been able to read him so easily, though Tohma surmised it probably should not have been too surprising. He _had_ threatened to destroy Shuichi's career once because of Eiri, and, despite the vocalist's somewhat off-the-wall behaviour, the dark-haired man was not stupid. He could be incredibly observant at times and without even trying.

"So what happened?" he asked, keeping his tone low and, he hoped, non-threatening. "I must say it is a surprise to hear that they're together. I thought Nakano-san didn't care much for Eiri."

"They're not really together and Hiro didn't. Not for a long time," Shuichi replied, yawning all of a sudden. "Not even when he and Eiri were working on songs together. Not at first, anyway."

Tohma smiled a little in understanding. It made sense, of course, that Nakano-san's opinion of Eiri would change after the started to work together but to fall in love with the other so quickly? It sounded like something from a really cheesy, American romance novel.

'Anything _is_ possible, though,' he reasoned.

"About six months ago, things started to change," the singer continued, not even missing a beat. In a voice that Tohma could have never believed to be so quiet, Shuichi told him everything, from Eiri's slow change in behaviour towards the vocalist and towards the guitarist to the day he found Nakano-san and Eiri in bed. t was around the time of Eiri's alleged indiscretion, Tohma noted absently, his attention still on Shuichi's words.

The vocalist had walked out on Eiri the same day. He had felt hurt and betrayed and justifiably so. Tohma could not imagine what it had to have been like for Shuichi to walk in on both his lover and his best friend, but he knew about letting go. It had taken the vocalist a month to realize that things would never work out between he and Eiri again. He saw how happy his best friend had made his lover so Shuichi had done the selfless thing and walked away, much like Tohma had done with Mika. Shuichi spoke calmly the entire affair, as if the situation no longer bothered him, and several situations fell into place for Tohma, especially his first encounter with the vocalist on the day Shuichi and Eiri had officially broken up. Then the singer fell silent, a ragged sigh leaving him. There was something else Tohma detected in that sound, and he could not quite identify it. He decided to take a risk and guess at what he sensed.

"You sound relieved, Shuichi," he commented.

"Back to first names again?"

Tohma felt more than he saw Shuichi shifting to face him. He could only imagine the emotions that would be shimmering in the vocalist's eyes, and he wanted more than anything to see them. However, he did not dare. For some reason, he feared the singer and whatever reaction Shuichi might have towards him.

"Yes," Tohma replied, nodding, "we are. Does that displease you?"

"No . . . not displeased. Just . . . surprised."

"Surprised? Shuichi, why . . .?"

Tohma finally glanced back at the vocalist just in time to see Shuichi's eyes close, his breathing deep and even. Exhaustion, it seemed, had finally overcome the younger man. Tohma smiled then shook his head. Tomorrow, they could talk further about the status of their relationship, and they could do so over strawberry calcium shakes. In the meantime, Shuichi could rest. The Gods only knew how much the vocalist needed it.


	7. Love is an Addiction and the Fashionistas Emerge

Tohma hummed softly to himself as he set about preparing for the day. It was a Saturday, and he had no particular place to be. The day presented many opportunities for him, and Tohma intended to take full advantage of as many as possible.

Tohma also needed to reflect on a few things. He had learned a great deal yesterday, and from a rather unlikely source. Shuichi was usually someone he trying to get information about, not from. Tohma just needed sort everything out in his mind, and to figure out how the new situations could be made to work, especially since he was not someone to waste an opportunity. Life as a Seguchi had taught him as much.

Of course, he would not interfere with Eiri and Hiro's relationship, what little bit the two men had. He did not think either of them would appreciate being pushed into something they probably were not sure about, nor did he feel like they would want to go public, not for a very long time. Public opinion was fickle and, in a situation such as this, would work against the two. The backlash would ultimately tear Bad Luck apart, and Eiri would suffer in the aftermath as well. Fans could be quite zealous, especially after a fantasy had been dissolved. Tohma knew from a past experience with another how fans could be once their ideals had been created. It was not a pretty picture, and one he would like to spare Shuichi and Eiri from enduring.

As he slipped into a black dress shirt, Tohma glanced in the direction of his bed and the small form curled under the blankets. A light frown touched his features while his fingers buttoned the garment, and he found himself more concerned with Shuichi's physical, mental, and emotional states more than Eiri's new yet tentative romance.

Last night had not been a good one for Shuichi. The younger man had awoken at least three times throughout the night, each time drenched in sweat and shivering and a whimper in his throat. His breathing had been laboured, too, as if Shuichi had been in the midst of a panic attack each time he woke, and he was frightened, truly frightened. The reasons behind the occurrences had Tohma concerned.

At first, Tohma had wondered what could have disrupted Shuichi's sleep the way it had been and why. He knew it could not have had anything to do with the split from Eiri. From what Shuichi had said, the break-up sounded like it had been amicable enough. They had both needed the space to keep the peace, and Shuichi had been the one to realize it. There were no reasons for the nightmares from that perspective.

It was only after the third nightmare Tohma finally managed to get the truth out of the vocalist. The truth had been bitter, and it made Tohma sick to even think of it.

Shuichi had seen, or least thought he had, one of his rapists the day after their fall out. Since he had already been insecure since Tohma's verbal berating, the memories had wormed their way back into his mind, causing the singer to relive the night of his rape. Shuichi had lived with the memories invading his sleep for the last week, adding more to Tohma's guilt.

It had been his fault, the incident with Taki Aizawa and Shuichi. Tohma saw that now, and he hated himself for his part in the entire situation. ASK had been his band to produce, yet he had also gone out of his way to help promote Bad Luck. Granted, he had only done so because of Eiri and Ryuichi and because of his position as label boss. It was his duty to make sure both bands succeeded, but his attention to Bad Luck had nearly driven Aizawa to the edge. The man had been desperate to guarantee his position at NG, to the point where he'd had Shuichi sexually assaulted. Aizawa even tried to blackmail the singer and Eiri with the knowledge of Shuichi's feelings and Eiri's past. Tohma was not entirely sure what else had happened that fateful night, but he knew the effects that night had on Eiri afterwards. He hated Aizawa for going to such lengths to ensure his position, and he pitied him. Since then, Tohma had done what was necessary to erase Aizawa from both Eiri's and Shuichi's lives, though at the time it had been for Eiri only.

A soft moan coming from Shuichi brought Tohma out of his musings, and his eyes focused on the bed once more. The blankets had been pushed back some, and Shuichi was starting to sit up. He looked decidedly adorable, in Tohma's opinion, with his mussed up hair and dreamy expression, but the blond was still worried. He wanted Shuichi to get at least another hour of sleep before rising for the day.

"Shuichi?"

Sleep-filled amethyst eyes landed on him, and the vocalist smiled. Tohma paused in what he was doing as a strange sensation washed over him, and he smiled at Shuichi in return. The sensations he felt left him feeling slightly breathless yet energized at the same time.

"Morning, Tohma," Shuichi murmured, crawling towards the blond. The singer stopped when he reached the edge of the bed and sat there, yawning.

"Morning . . ."

Tohma's hand moved of its own accord, and caressed a pale cheek. Shuichi looked so white, though not nearly as bad as he had yesterday. The blonde idly wondered why he had not noticed the singer's wan appearance sooner. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," the vocalist admitted, his smile growing a little wider and a little warmer. "Still tired, though."

"You get some more rest then."

Shuichi shook his head in the negative.

"I can't," he explained. "I have to do some shopping. It's my parents' anniversary today, and my sister and I have been planning something special for them."

Tohma raised an eyebrow at Shuichi, knowing the younger man would resist whatever intentions he had. The vocalist needed the rest – they both knew it – but Shuichi would be stubborn about staying in bed. Eiri had often commented to Tohma about stubborn and determined Shuichi was. Tohma knew he was better off not trying to persuade the younger man otherwise. Still, he wanted the singer to take it easy for the rest of the day. It would not do for Shuichi to pass out from exhaustion. Another idea came to him, and Tohma finished buttoning his shirt, his mind set on a different approach. If he could not get Shuichi to rest, the least he could do was make sure the singer had a relaxing and fun day.

"What else do you need to get done?" he inquired. Shuichi blinked then ran a hand through his mussed-up hair. It only created a bigger mess, but then Tohma rather liked it, too. In his opinion, which had changed drastically in the course of a month, the singer looked adorable no matter what.

"Not much really. Just something for me to wear for tonight," Shuichi replied.

"No gifts?"

"No." Shuichi shook his head. "Got those last week."

'The reason why he was late . . .' Tohma smiled.

"Hmmm . . ."

"Tohma?"

He heard the unspoken question and uncertainty in Shuichi's voice. The younger man wanted to know what he was thinking. They were starting over again, though this time they were not playing the mind games. This time, Tohma intended to win Shuichi over completely and for keeps. Tohma flashed Shuichi a smile then gave him a kiss.

"I know just the place to go," he said.

* * *

Shuichi had butterflies in the pit of his stomach, and he could not stop himself from fidgeting. Tohma was taking him shopping. They were going to do something technically as a couple. They were doing something together in public. They were going to go where people could see them. Even though no one would recognize Shuichi – he made sure he had his hat and sunglasses on – people would undoubtedly recognize Tohma. N.G.'s president had quite the distinguishing presence. People could not help _but_ recognize the blond-haired man driving him around. Wherever he went, whether he realized it or not, Tohma captured the interest of those around him and commanded that they see him, fear him, and respect him. Shuichi still was not ready for his relationship with the older man to become public knowledge, and there was _always_ a chance for someone to realize who it was with the former Grasper.

'Lover . . . I still think of him as my lover . . . despite the shit last week . . . Why is that?'

"Relax, Shuichi," he heard Tohma say. A hand rested on his knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "No one will see anything we don't want them to see. I promise. I've already made the arrangements."

Shuichi just nodded. Tohma had assured him the shopping trip would be quick, and no one would really have a chance to get close to them. The shop would have several outfits waiting for them upon their arrival. They also had promised Tohma to sequester off a section, giving the two a private sanctuary in which to try on the clothing. Shuichi did not think it would be a fast excursion, not when he and Tohma shared a penchant for unusual yet stylish clothing, but had agreed to go on the promise of privacy.

'As long as we can get to the restaurant before my parents, I don't care how long it takes,' he told himself. 'That's all that matters.'

Slowly, Shuichi began to relax. He wanted to enjoy himself as much as possible today. It was a special day, and in more ways than one. A smile touched his lips as he envisioned how the evening would go.

"Feeling calmer now?"

Shuichi nodded again and glanced at Tohma, his smile still in place. The butterflies in his stomach were slowly subsiding. He still had some reservations, but they had nothing to do with the shopping excursion with Tohma. They were about the blond-haired man driving him to 109*, one of the trendiest fashion stores in Tokyo. Shuichi had no clear idea as to what he could expect from Tohma, but he also wanted to give the older man a chance. He liked how he felt around the blond; it seemed like it had been a long time since he felt this happy and content. Shuichi also did not believe he could live without knowing how things could have been between them. He wanted to know, and was willing to give the relationship another chance, a better one. After all, he had given Eiri multiple chances throughout their time together. Tohma, in the singer's mind, deserved just as much from Shuichi.

Now all the vocalist had to do was invite Tohma to his parents' anniversary dinner without arousing suspicions . . . somehow.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

He paused for a moment then smiled broadly. A pair of red sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose, and he leaned back in his chair.

"I see . . . That is interesting, _very_ interesting indeed. I thank you very much for calling me. I appreciate the information. I'll be sure to put it to good use."

The man hung up his phone then looked at the latest headline. t was still about the split of novelist Eiri Yuki and vocalist Shuichi Shindou, which he found to be quite boring, contrite, and old news. The media still speculated on the causes, especially since neither man had been very forthcoming about the sudden departure from each other. All of Japan wanted to know everything about it, even now.

The man's smile still remained as he read the paper.

From what he had just heard, Tohma Seguchi was also going through a separation. The divorce papers had been filed around a month before, around the time Shindou and Yuki had announced their break-up. He did not have all of the details about Tohma's split with his wife, who also happened to be Eiri Yuki's sister, but then it hardly mattered. He had all the information he needed. He had not forgotten how protective Tohma was of Eiri Yuki, not when the cost of learning the lesson had been his ability to walk. A few well-placed rumours to the right papers, and Tohma Seguchi would be finished. He would see to it personally this time.

"Your days are numbered now, my friend. Revenge shall finally be mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * - 109 is an actual store in Tokyo, and it does carry the popular fashions. Why wouldn't Tohma and Shuichi head there? ^_^


	8. The Smell of Gardenias

By the time the evening had ended, Shuichi felt like he was soaring into the sky while he felt exhausted at the same time. The dinner with his parents had gone over exceptionally well, his mother swooning over the gifts he and Maiko had chosen to give them. The Shindou matriarch had even been more pleased with the present Eiri had bestowed upon her (Shuichi had called the novelist while on a lunch break from shopping, and had invited both Eiri and Hiro to the dinner). Conversation throughout the meal managed to remain civil, jovial even, in Shuichi's mind, especially in light of Tohma's and Sakano's presences.

At first, Shuichi was not sure how everyone was going to take Tohma's presence at a family gathering. The party was pretty much for family members and close friends only, which was why Shuichi had invited Eiri and Hiro. The singer was not about to throw away a good friendship, the best he knew he would ever have, even if things were strained between him and his long-time friend. Hiro had stuck by him through thick and thin and through the emotional roller coaster ride that had been his relationship with Eiri. However, he was not about to tell Hiro just yet about his tentative relationship with Tohma, either, and it would make it rather suspicious for the blond to be there.

Fortunately for Shuichi, Tohma had been more than understanding about the vocalist's dilemma and very supportive. He had been sitting across from the vocalist when Shuichi had made the calls to both Eiri and Hiro about the dinner party for the evening. The blond-haired man had only raised an eyebrow at the singer while he talked to Eiri then merely smiled when Shuichi had explained the reason for the invitation to the novelist.

The Shindou matriarch was an Eiri Yuki fan, had been for a number of years, and Shuichi knew it would mean a great deal to his mother if the novelist happened to be there for her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Tohma understood as much and even respected it. There were no accusations in his eyes, either, and not seeing such a thing had made Shuichi immensely happy. It felt like things were getting on track and heading in the right direction for a change, without any false pretenses. He then told Tohma that Sakano-san was going to be at the party as well and what the producer had in mind as a gift for his parents. Tohma decided it would be a good excuse for his presence at the party.

Then there had been the conversation with Hiro. The guitarist was receiving the invitation to the Shindou anniversary dinner party because of long-standing and deep friendship with Shuichi. Tohma had understood why, and had nodded his encouragement to Shuichi during both conversations. Having the older man there had given Shuichi a strength he did not think he had anymore.

Tohma's encouragement had also helped Shuichi to feel better about himself, and he had admitted it had been nice to talk with Hiro again. He truly had missed his best friend, and he enjoyed the small reunion with Hiro during the course of the evening. No awkward topics were brought up by anyone, and the events of the night pretty much had gone just as Shuichi had expected them to do.

The main event of the evening, though, had not centered entirely on Shuichi and Maiko's parents or the fact it was their anniversary. Sakano-san's "gift" for his folks had taken nearly everyone by surprise, with the exception of Shuichi and Tohma, but the presentation of said gift had thrilled the vocalist's mother to no end. The smirk had yet to leave Shuichi's face as he thought about what had happened when Sakano finally got to give his "present" to his mother and father.

Sakano had proposed to his sister in front of everyone, which had explained to everyone there Tohma's presence. The normally nervous man had dropped to one knee, Western-style and calmly at that, and had asked Maiko to marry him in front of a room full of people. Maiko, after a moment of shock, had thrown her arms around the producer and agreed. Now a wedding was in the works, something Shuichi had volunteered to pay for a portion of the expenses. He had the money, after all, and it was one of many gifts he wanted to give to his sister. If things went well – and Shuichi hoped they did – the event would be a one-time thing for Maiko and Sakano-san, and he wanted it to be a ceremony well worth remembering.

Finally, the evening had ended and Shuichi had wished everyone there well. Then, discreetly, he and Tohma left. Now they stood in front of the older blond's apartment building, the smell of gardenias lingering between them. (The floral fragrance was one of his mother's favourite scents for special occasions, and she had insisted upon giving everyone who had attended the party a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving, including Tohma.)

"I had fun tonight," he murmured. He was still smiling. It felt so good.

Tohma glanced in his direction, and smiled. One hand reached over and clasped with Shuichi's.

"As did I," he replied, using his free hand to open his apartment door. "Your family is quite interesting. I can see why Sakano-san felt so at ease during the celebration. Thank you for inviting me."

"I wanted you there," Shuichi said in all honesty. They stepped inside. "It was important to me. And it was important for Sakano-san, too."

Once the door had closed behind them, strong and slender arms slid around Shuichi's waist and pulled him plush against Tohma's chest. The singer snuggled into Tohma's arms and inhaled deeply. There was something rather soothing about the former Grasper, and it lulled Shuichi into a strong sense of security.

"Just as you wanted Eiri and Hiro there?" Tohma inquired, his tone soft and low. Shuichi felt the older man's chest vibrate some, and he smiled. There was no malice or anger in Tohma's voice, just a gentle understanding. It still boggled Shuichi's mind that such a change had occurred between them, but he found he was a little too tired to care. Besides, he loved it when he saw Tohma smile. He felt so squishy and happy on the inside.

"Hmmm . . . yeah . . . but for different reasons . . ."

As they talked, Shuichi further relaxed in Tohma's embrace, and he closed his eyes. He let out a soft, sleepy sigh, trying to lean even closer to the blond.

"I know," Tohma assured him. A kiss to his forehead followed, and Shuichi heard the smile in Tohma's voice as he spoke. "I know. It just would not have been the same if they had not been there. They're like family, and they always will be. I wonder if Eiri would be willing to perform Maiko's ceremony for her . . ."

"Yeah . . . That would be nice of him . . ."

They stood in silence for a few moments, Tohma's arms still holding Shuichi close. He inhaled deeply, the scent of his mother's perfume mingling with the clean scent that was uniquely Tohma. It felt good to be held like that, safe and secure, and Shuichi found himself slowly drifting off . . .

* * *

It must have said something to Tohma the moment he felt Shuichi relaxing into his embrace. Shuichi had not let anyone get this physically close to him in months. Tohma had witnessed as much, though it had baffled him as to why. The vocalist had always been someone who depended upon physical contact to keep him going. To cut himself off from his usual form of support was unusual, and a cause for concern. His smile had grown considerably, and he started to bury his nose into the singer's neck when Shuichi's body went entirely lax. Tohma had to catch the younger before he hit the floor.

Alarmed at first, Tohma lifted Shuichi up and carried him over to the couch. As far as Tohma knew, there was no reason for the younger man to collapse as he had, and Tohma started to suspect a drug of some kind had been placed in the singer's drink . . . until he saw the peaceful, slumbering expression on Shuichi's face and the steady rise-and-fall of the singer's chest. Then Tohma cursed himself for overreacting. Naturally, the singer would be asleep. It was getting late, and Shuichi had not slept well the previous night nor had he been sleeping well for the last week. It made sense that he would fall asleep the moment he relaxed completely.

And since he had relaxed enough to fall asleep without any help, he trusted Tohma. He truly, honestly trusted Tohma. At least, that's what a small portion of the blond-haired man believed. Shuichi _had_ been rather elusive about many things lately, especially when it came to where he was living.

Tohma had a feeling he knew the reasons why Shuichi had not told his friends and associates as to where he had moved. It all boiled down to privacy, in Tohma's mind. So long as no one in the general public saw who was with Shuichi was when he was home, the media could not hound the vocalist about his break-up with Eiri. The reporters were still curious about it, and they continued to ask Shuichi about the novelist every chance they got. The media simply could not believe the two were now "just friends." However, with K determining which questions they could ask and how Shuichi would answer, the reporters were getting desperate. Security had already informed Tohma of several dozen attempts by news programs to get into NG Studios and to Shuichi. Some of the would-be ninjas had tracking devices on their person, hoping for a chance to get one planted on the singer. The media's obsessive streak over Shuichi and Eiri was becoming annoying and fast at that.

'Perhaps there's something I can do about that,' Tohma mused. 'To help them both out.'

For a few moments, he sat next to Shuichi on the couch, watching the vocalist sleep. A feeling of contentment filled him, and a soft smile slowly touched Tohma's features. It was not a new sensation to him, having felt it years ago when he and Mika were first married, but it had been many years since he had felt satisfied with his life and with who was in it. This, he decided, was something he could definitely get used to doing every day, and he was not about to destroy his second chance.

* * *

 _Click._

A flame appeared from the lighter, and Eiri brought the burning object to the cigarette settled between his lips. Once the stick had started to burn, he flicked the lighter closed and turned his attention to the apartment complex in front of him. He knew for a fact Tohma resided in the building, and that the former Grasper had moved in shortly after the divorce papers with Mika had been filed. The older man had confessed as much to Eiri, an indication Tohma still wanted to maintain their friendship. Or that he still obsessed over Eiri. The novelist had not been certain of which at the time his former guardian had told him.

Only now, Eiri was not sure if it was possible for them to remain friends or if he should even keep in touch with Tohma. Not after he had watched Tohma enter the apartment complex, Shuichi on his arm. He had asked his brother-in-law . . . no, he had _told_ Tohma to stay away from Shuichi, especially after Hiro had told him about Bad Luck's contract ending. Eiri knew it was not entirely possible for the older man to avoid Shuichi. The two worked in the same building, and Tohma still determined as to whether or not Bad Luck would be resigned to NG or if they would be sent packing. Tohma and Shuichi running into each other and having contact with one another was inevitable. After seeing the two walk into Tohma's building together, it was quite obvious the older man had not listened to Eiri, and the fact grated on the novelist's nerves.

Eiri also knew he was being somewhat unreasonable about Tohma being near Shuichi, especially in such close proximity to each other, and the fact the two had entered Tohma's apartment building together. His relationship with Shuichi had ended several months ago, he had no rights whatsoever to the singer, but their end had not diminished Eiri's feelings of protectiveness for Shuichi. Taki Aizawa had forever burned such feelings into Eiri. He would not allow anyone to hurt Shuichi ever again. Granted, he had Tohma's word that Bad Luck's contract would not be used against Shuichi in any manner. Once Tohma gave his word, he kept it, and Eiri had always been able to count on such promises. Tohma's promise, however, did nothing to alleviate Eiri's protective streak.

Eiri exhaled then flicked his cigarette, sending ashes floating to the ground. His gaze remained on the building, and his emotions were in turmoil. He was not sure of what he was truly feeling, aside from the strong desire to keep Shuichi safe and sound at all costs. That urge within him would never change. However, he was torn. It was obvious to him that Shuichi was happy. Hell, he had to be honest with himself. Shuichi was very happy. Eiri had seen the singer's face and that beautiful smile before he and Tohma disappeared into the building. It had also been clear to the novelist as to who it was that had put the smile on Shuichi's face. Tohma. Tohma made Shuichi happy now, not Eiri.

And Tohma . . . well, Eiri had not seen the older man smile as he had done in a long time. It was a warm, genuine smile, the kind Tohma had really only given to Eiri, Mika, and the other members of Nittle Grasper, and no one else. It did not matter how any of them acted towards Tohma, that genuine smile had always been for them and would always be for them. Now Shuichi, it seemed, was on that list, and Eiri was not sure how he felt about that, either. A small part of him felt jilted, like he had just been tossed to the side by both his best friend and his former lover, while another part was relieved. Tohma was not going to hurt Shuichi.

Then Eiri laughed at himself and shook his head. He knew what his problem was. He was jealous, jealous of both Tohma and Shuichi, and how he thought things were changing when they really had not. Whether he liked it or not, Tohma would always be there for him and give him that genuine smile whenever he needed it. Eiri had no doubts Shuichi would do the same thing for him as well. Both his best friend and his former lover were notoriously loyal and stubborn, and they would never abandon Eiri. That was just how his life was, and how it would always be, whether he wanted it to be that way or not.

As he turned and walked away, Eiri felt a bit lighter than he had in a few months. Shuichi would be safe with Tohma. There were no more reasons for him to worry, even though he always would. Eiri pulled out his cell phone, and dialed a number that he had been calling a little more frequently than he had in the past. It rang for a few moments then a familiar yet tired-sounding voice answered. Eiri smirked as he climbed into his car. The person on the other end was sure to be pissed off at him. Eiri could almost guarantee it, and he liked it that way. It created some very . . . interesting times for them, situations about which Eiri found he could not complain.

"Yeah, it's me. We need to talk. Meet me at my place in an hour."


	9. Finding Shuichi . . . At least Ryuichi Succeeds, Anyway

He felt as if he were floating in a warm haze of safety, happiness, and satisfaction, and he _liked_ the sensations. Since Bad Luck had begun working on the latest project, such emotions had become foreign to Shuichi. He and Eiri had spent a lot of time together, since he had wanted to finally involve the novelist in his work. It had been Shuichi's way of telling his now-former lover he was welcomed and wanted in every aspect of his life.

At first, the collaboration between Eiri and Bad Luck had been wonderful. Shuichi got to see Eiri more often than he had before, and it thrilled the singer to no end. Until the current record, the only times he and Eiri had gotten to see each other were first thing in the morning or when Shuichi arrived home from the studio. There had also been instances where the vocalist had not seen Eiri at all due to the writer's commitments to his publishing company, and it had frustrated Shuichi. He had _needed_ to see his boyfriend, to hear that endearing yet cold-sounding voice, and to taste those lips. Eiri had been an addiction Shuichi needed to feed. He could not imagine his life without Eiri, and he never wanted to do so.

Then things had started to slowly change. Little by little, Shuichi found himself being left out of the creative process. His ideas were either overruled or ignored in favour of Eiri and his ideas. He also watched as his best friend began to spend more time with his lover than he did. Shuichi had tried not to let it bother him, but it grew more and more difficult as the days passed. Even worse, in the singer's estimation, when they were home, Eiri smiled less and less at him until those smiles disappeared entirely. The author drank more when it was just the two of them, and Eiri had told Shuichi one night his voice grated on his nerves, that he wanted to get sick every time he heard the singer speak. Eiri had been drunk that night, worse than any previous or following occasion, and Shuichi had tried to console himself with the idea it was the alcohol talking, not his lover. The dark-haired man had even tried to ignore the other truths surrounding him, such as how it was Hiro that Eiri smiled for, and how it was Hiro who always managed to calm the novelist down whenever Eiri became drunk and downright belligerent.

However, denial had never been Shuichi's thing, and he had realized it the morning he had walked into his home only to find Eiri and Hiro tangled together in bed, their evidence of their exploits quite obvious on the sheets. It was over between he and Eiri. He had left that day, and he had never looked back. A month of being on his own and having to fend for himself had taught Shuichi how selfish he had been when it had come to his relationships with both Eiri and Hiro. That month, his need for Eiri dwindled, and it was also during that time he had realized just how much he truly loved Eiri. He wanted to see the novelist happy for he believed Eiri never looked more handsome than he did when he smiled. In order to insure the novelist's happiness, he had to step aside and let another take his place. It had hurt, breaking up with Eiri as he had, but Shuichi had not seen any other alternative. Staying together would have eventually and most assuredly destroyed them. It undoubtedly would have killed him.

Shuichi moaned softly and curled up tighter against the warm body pressed next to him. At least, he was certain a warm body lay next to him. He still remained in that pleasant in-between state of dream and reality, and he really did not wish to wake. If his memories of the night before were any indication and someone did lay next to him, Shuichi knew who that person happened to be.

A smile tugged on his lips, and Shuichi burrowed himself further into the warmth that was Tohma Seguchi. He was happy and safe for the time being. Shuichi could only hope it would stay that way for a long, long time.

* * *

Tohma opened his eyes to see sunlight filtering through the bedroom curtains and to the feel of Shuichi pressed snugly against his body, his one arm wrapped protectively around the younger man. The vocalist had draped one arm across Tohma's abdomen while the other undoubtedly hid from sight. He stole a glance at the sleeping form nestled snug and comfortable in his embrace, and Tohma could not refrain from smiling.

Shuichi reminded him of a slumbering angel. It sounded like a cheap cliché' from some bad romance novel, but Tohma felt it to be true nonetheless. The vocalist had a youthful innocence about him that it lent to such a theory, and Tohma knew he would not mind waking up to Shuichi's visage every morning. A sigh of contentment escaped the blond, and he turned to lay on his side.

"Don't move," Shuichi murmured, wriggling closer. Tohma chuckled as he continued to adjust himself.

"My arm is falling asleep, Shu-chan," he whispered. One amethyst-coloured eye opened to regard him. Then the singer lifted himself up a little, both eyes now open wide and staring lovingly at Tohma. A sleepy yet warm smile graced those youthful features.

"But I don't wanna get up yet," he protested, his tone soft and husky. He leaned in closer, his lips brushing gently against Tohma's. "I want to stay right here. With you."

Tohma closed his eyes as Shuichi kissed him. There was something to be said about kissing and how addicting it could be. The feel of warm lips on his, caressing them with great reverence, sent his mind spinning out of control and his heart racing. Tohma had once believed only Mika could have had such an effect on him, but that had been a long time ago, before things between them had changed.

Oddly enough, it did not frighten Tohma as to how quickly he was falling for Shuichi Shindou, and he did not intend to resist what his emotions were telling him. He may not have always made the greatest decisions, especially when it came down to relationships, but Tohma had always known what he wanted. At that moment, he wanted Shuichi next to him, always and forever. The thought of waking up next to the singer every morning continued to become more and more appealing with each passing moment, just like becoming a musician had. Tohma's arms wrapped around a slender waist, pulling Shuichi close to him and their kiss deepened, tongues probing gently and lazily.

It was pleasant, a moment Tohma had wanted to last for quite some time, maybe even take things a little further. His fingers had just touched bare, heated flesh under silky fabric when a familiar voice rang out.

"Tooohma! Tohma, where are you?"

At the sound of Ryuichi's voice calling out his name, he and Shuichi pulled away from each other, the younger vocalist nearly leaping off of him. They still were not ready for anyone to know of their relationship, not even their closest of friends. The repercussions for the two of them would be too great, though Shuichi may not have realized it just yet.

Tohma also liked the thought of having something to himself, something that was not fraught with lies, danger, and blood. What he had with Shuichi he did not want to share with anyone. Shuichi was his and his alone.

Shuichi had just managed to roll to one side of the bed and Tohma had pushed himself up when Ryuichi burst into the room, a frantic expression on his face. Without warning, the older singer launched himself onto the bed, bouncing a little as he landed.

"Tohma, I just heard! You and Mika! I can't believe it! And at the same time Shuichi and Yuki-san broke up!" He paused for a moment then leveled a hard gaze at him. "You didn't leave her because of that, did you?"

"No, Ryuichi, I did not." Tohma's tone held a hint of amusement. Had it been anyone else asking such a question, the inquirer would have been given a suave rebuff and an icy glare. Then again, very few would have even made such a connection between Tohma and Eiri. Ryuichi only knew of Tohma's feelings for the blond author because of how close the two had become over the years. No one knew Tohma better than Ryuichi. "I had already had the papers for divorce drawn months before Shuichi and Eiri parted ways."

"Oh . . . Do you know where Shuichi is? I tried talking to Hiro, but he couldn't tell me. No one can seem to find him anymore."

It was then Ryuichi noticed there was someone else in the room, who that someone happened to be, and the singer's eyes widened to the size of tea saucers. He glanced rapidly back and forth between Tohma and Shuichi, as if he could not believe what he was seeing. The yo-yo motion of Ryuichi's head last for several moments before the other singer finally closed his eyes and shook his head, his expression one of sadness. Though neither he nor Shuichi had said anything, the fact they were in bed, together, told Ryuichi everything about them. His former bandmate was not as stupid or as clueless as he pretended to be, a tactic the two of them had utilized on many occasions.

'He probably has it figured out,' Tohma thought, a sinking feeling spreading throughout the pit of his stomach. 'So much for keeping this a secret.'

"Ryu-chan . . ."

Ryuichi slid to one side, sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed. A sad smile touched his features, his gaze on Shuichi.

"You know," he began, "when I heard the news that you and Yuki-san had split, I wanted to come back. I'd thought, 'This is my chance.' I was thrilled at the same time I was sad. I knew you were hurting, Shu-chan, I really did. That's why I didn't come back. You needed the time, and I had to be sure you wouldn't go back to him. I didn't want to be hurt if that happened." Ryuichi paused then sighed. "But you never did go back. It surprised me when you didn't so I made my plans to come back home. I know how much you loved Yuki-san."

"Love," Shuichi corrected. "I still love him. I'll never stop loving him. That's why it ended."

Tohma turned his head and stared at Shuichi, a little awestruck by the younger singer's confession. While he had always known those words to be true, it still shocked him to hear Shuichi say them. It even hurt, though he would never admit it.

"Then why . . ." Ryuichi's confusion was evident in his voice. Shuichi shrugged.

"He wasn't happy anymore," he stated. "And I want him to be happy, more than anything in the world." Shuichi leaned forward. "It's also why he must never learn about this, Ryu-chan. It would really hurt him."

"Does Tohma make you happy?" Ryuichi inquired. There was a hint of danger in the older vocalist's tone, and Tohma felt trapped all of a sudden. Ryuichi had been his best friend for many years, long before Nittle Grasper had become a major success, and the brunette was just as protective of those he cared about as Tohma was. He did not want his lover and his best friend, who also happened to be friends, to be at odds with each other. It was an intimidating situation, and Tohma's stomach started to lurch as he realized he had done the same exact thing to Eiri all those years ago(1).

"Yes. He does," Shuichi replied, his tone quiet. "I wouldn't be here if he didn't."

"Good!" Ryuichi smiled, wide and bright. "Because I don't want to see Tohma get hurt!"

A pillow hit the singer in the face, causing Tohma to blink, it had happened so quickly. When had Shuichi moved to throw the plush object?

"You're a good friend, Ryu-chan." Shuichi grinned impishly as he spoke. "Always looking out for those dear to us. Maybe that's why we get along so well."

To that, Ryuichi blinked for a moment or so. Then a wide grin appeared on the singer's face, and he reached for the pillow Shuichi had tossed at him.

"It's war, Shuichi!"

Tohma shook his head at the change, smiling a little. The tension in the air had vanished in an instant, leaving a playful atmosphere in its wake. He climbed carefully out of the bed as the two vocalists engaged in an all-out pillow war, grabbing a change of clothes as he left the room. Shuichi's response to Ryuichi's last question had been quick and without any thought behind it, which meant Bad Luck's vocalist loved him. It sounded sappy, trite, and a thousand of other clichés, but Tohma had also heard love knew no boundaries. Tohma was sure of the younger man's emotions towards him, and knowing Shuichi possessed strong convictions for him left Tohma feeling lighter than he ever had in years.

* * *

"Here you go. It's the story of a lifetime. You don't even have to write it. I've already done that for you."

The woman took the proffered sheets of paper and read over the alleged piece very carefully. Many people had entered her office with the same claim as this man, but all had been false, hopefuls trying to get their foot into the journalism world. She doubted this situation would be any different . . . until she saw who the story entailed, and her heart leapt into her throat. Immediately, she shoved the papers away from her.

"I can't print this. It'll ruin me."

"Nonsense," he purred, his tone silky smooth. "You'll have me to back you. Besides, I have done my research into this. All of the information printed on those papers is the absolute truth. I wouldn't have even bothered if any piece were false."

She – one Hoshi Hatsunda – glared at him. This man still did not realize with whom he was trying to mess. It was one thing to print tabloid trash. It was another to go after one of the most powerful businessmen in Japan.

"I'm sorry," Hoshi said, "but I can _not_ print this. Tohma Seguchi has always given our paper any interview we have asked for, even giving us exclusives. To print this would be to betray his faith and trust in us, and he _will_ find a way to destroy our publication. I cannot print this."

"You mean you're not interested in giving the world the truth?" he inquired. "You haven't wondered _why_ Shuichi Shindou and Eiri Yuki split? It was so sudden, after all, _and_ after an allegation of infidelity."

Hoshi hesitated. She _had_ wanted to know why the most famous and most popular gay couple in Japan had separated. Both Yuki-san and Shindou-san had been tight-lipped about the entire thing, usually smiling as they gave vague responses about their defunct relationship then changing the subject. What this man had brought to her had offered some viable truths, information no one may have ever believed to be truth. Hell, she would not have dreamt of what this story told her.

'It's going to cause a riot,' she thought miserably.

"This story will sell," the man continued, his tone still smooth as silk. "You're the only one I've brought this story to. Just think of the potential interviews . . ."

That did Hoshi in. If she did print this story, she would have a potential enemy in Tohma Seguchi, but she could also use the piece to secure potential exclusive interviews with the enigmatic blond and with Shindou. Hoshi paged her secretary, who immediately entered the office, took the papers from her hands, and whisked them away.

"You won't regret this."

"I hope you're right," she said. "Who did you say you were again?"

The man smiled in an enigmatic fashion. It sent chills down her spine. His smile reminded her of a predator that had just captured its prey, and she had a very bad feeling about she was going to be doing. He scared her almost as much as Tohma Seguchi, and the man sat in a wheelchair.

"Akira Takahashi," he said.

* * *

Taki gazed in the mirror, trying to ignore the bruises and bite marks adorning his neck and upper torso. His body still ached from the abuse it had suffered from a few nights prior, but it was all physical anyway. The physical, he had long ago learned, never lasted, and it could always be hidden behind smiles and false reassurances. The mental and emotional wounds, however, were a different story, and he knew he would never fully recover from those.

He had lied. While such a thing was not an uncommon occurrence for him, knowing he had lied made Taki sick to his stomach. The first of his lies had been told to Eiri Yuki-san the day the novelist had almost killed Ma-kun and took his blackmail photos away from Taki. He knew the names of the men he had hired to rape Shuichi Shindou five years ago. He had always known their names. He had claimed to not know as a means of protection. As long as he did not say who they were, he could not be incriminated for anything, and they would not come after him with everything they had. There were some men scarier than Tohma Seguchi.

That was the first lie Taki had made that he regretted. The second lie had been to the hospital staff and to the police a few nights ago, on his birthday. He had claimed to have never seen the men who had hauled him out of the bar and into a back alley. He claimed he could not remember the faces of the men who had held him down and raped him repeatedly until they were sated and he a bloody mess, but he knew. He knew exactly who they were and what their agenda was. They were the same men he had hired to rape Shuichi, but he had said nothing, this time it was completely out of fear: fear for his life, fear for his bandmates, fear for Shuichi Shindou . . . Both men had been born into powerful families, and they had promised Taki to destroy him, his band, and Shuichi Shindou if he turned them in and spoke against what they had done to him. They knew. They had figured it out, probably on the fateful day Taki had hired them all those years ago.

Taki had fallen for Bad Luck's vocalist, and he had fallen hard. He had been in denial over the fact for years, until the other night, when Shuichi's name had been brought up once more and the threat had been made . . .

He turned away from his mirror and proceeded to get dressed. Taki had to pretend nothing had happened to him for they were watching him. They were always watching him. His former partners in crime had informed him. However, he would not be their puppet for long, and he vowed he would get revenge, not only for himself, but for Shuichi as well. He would do whatever he could to keep the young vocalist safe.

Taki only hoped Hiroshi Nakano would listen to him.

* * *

Randy "Ryo" MacLean offered the young girl sitting across from him a reassuring and warm smile. She had just been released from the hospital an hour ago, and she was already at the police station, ready to tell them what exactly had happened her. Her boyfriend stood behind her, a strong and supportive presence. Dark bruises covered her cheeks.

"It's okay," he said. He and his partner knew the basics of her story. The hospital had called them the moment she had arrived, carried by the young man now hovering protectively behind her. "Take your time. There's no hurry."

"Thank you," she murmured, drawing a deep breath. As she took a moment to collect herself, Ryo glanced at his notes.

Her name was Millicent Vanderbucks, and she hailed from an illustrious family in Farmington Hills, Michigan. She was nineteen years old, and preferred to be called Trixie. Her boyfriend's name was Gregory Racer, more commonly known to the public as Speed Racer. They both worked in the racing industry, and they were in New York for a race. Last night, she and some of her girlfriends had gone out to a club for some dancing, where they had been approached by a "handsome stranger". Said man had bought them a few drinks, and he had asked for a dance. Trixie reluctantly had accepted the offer. It was after they had danced that the stranger had followed her into the women's restroom and raped her. One of her friends, a girl by the name of Janine Trotter, found her and called Speed per the brunette's request.

While the hospital had checked her over, Ryo and Dee had gone to club to retrieve whatever evidence they could from the women's bathroom, only to come up empty-handed. Whatever D.N.A. was there had been trampled and were ultimately useless. They needed more details, and they were hoping the young girl could provide what they needed to arrest the man. Finally, Trixie spoke again.

"He said he was a singer . . . that he was in a band called Bad Luck. They're really popular in Japan, he said."

"Anything else?" Ryo inquired, taking down notes as quickly as he could. He made sure to keep his tone as gentle as possible so as not to frighten her. The poor girl had suffered enough.

"Yeah . . . he had really bright pink hair and violet eyes," Trixie said. "He looked some kind of punk rocker."

"How tall?" Dee asked, breaking his silence.

"I'd say he was about five foot three, and he was somewhat muscular, too," she replied. "I think that's how he was able to keep me pinned down. He definitely weighed at least a hundred-fifty pounds."

'And she weighs no more than ninety, I'm sure,' Ryo thought, angry with the man who had done this to her.

"Did he say anything or do anything else you remember?" Ryo scribbled furiously. He had to get this down while he still could, and it also helped to keep his anger in check. The information was disjointed, but Ryo knew how to fit it together to have it make sense.

"Yeah . . . when he first came to our table, he introduced himself as Shuichi Shindou."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - From Volume 8 of the manga. Eiri confronts Tohma about what the former Grasper said to Shuichi. Shuichi shows up with K, and Tohma threatens Shuichi's career right in front of Eiri. The novelist then "chooses" Tohma over Shuichi.


	10. And So the Plot Thickens

Tohma Seguchi stared darkly at the newspaper sitting on his desk, his mind whirling what seemed like a thousand thoughts. Some of those thoughts were ideas on revenge and ways to rout out the writer of the article that he stared at, but most of his thoughts were centered on Shuichi and Eiri. Every idea he had turned into ways he could keep both his lover and his brother-in-law completely safe from any backlash the story would incite. Tohma glanced at the paper again. Its headline, _**Mystery Unveiled! The Real Reason Behind Superstar Shuichi Shindou's Split**_ , guaranteed outrage among Japan's populace, and Eiri would bear the brunt of the anger if Tohma could think of nothing to help him. Shuichi's fans were loyal, almost to the point of die-hard and obsessive, and they would do anything they deemed necessary to "avenge" their beloved singer. Tohma had learned a long time ago just how far fans would go to prove their loyalty to a given person. They were also memories he cared not to relive. To distract himself, he skimmed over the paper for a fourth time.

The article, written by some anonymous source, claimed to reveal the true reason behind Shuichi and Eiri's split. The story said that Eiri had been sleeping around on the singer. It was not a one-time fling, either, according to the trash. Rather, the affair had been drawn out, with Eiri sometimes doing the dirty deed while Shuichi slept nearby . . . and the person Eiri strayed to was Tohma.

Also, according to the article, this affair between he and Eiri had ended his marriage with Mika. The faint, half-truths the story contained were embellished with more than exorbitant lies. It was a catastrophe in the making, and Tohma needed to be on damage control as soon as possible because he knew. He knew there would be accusations against Shuichi as well. Eiri possessed just as many loyal fans as the singer did, much to the younger blond's chagrin. Both Eiri and Shuichi would receive an increase in death threats, and some fans were crazy enough to act on their promises. Tohma disliked thinking along such morbid lines, but he could not, and would not, afford to take any chances where Eiri and Shuichi were concerned. They were dear to Tohma, dearer than life itself, and he knew he would do whatever he could to keep both of them safe. The consequences to himself were trivial in his grand machinations.

The door to his office clicked open, bringing Tohma out of his dark, almost murderous musings, and he looked up just in time to see Shuichi creep inside. The singer quickly closed the door behind him and let out a heavy sigh. To Tohma's eyes, Shuichi appeared to be a little exhausted, and the blond could not help but feel responsible for the singer's current condition. Chances were, his lover had fielded numerous questions and accusations from his band mates and from K once the detrimental story started circulating. Tohma idly wondered if Nakano had played an active part in whatever transpired in Bad Luck's studio, but the notion flitted away before it could form roots in his mind. He saw something else in Shuichi's eyes that concerned him more than Nakano's role in the day's events. That something resembled pain, actual physical pain. Shuichi had become prone to migraines over the last several months, and such headaches were cause for worry with Tohma. They were often crippling and put Shuichi in tears from the pain, according to Sakano-san, and Tohma often felt guilty for not noticing the singer's struggle with the migraines sooner. Frowning, he rose to his feet.

"Is everything all right?" he asked, crossing the distance between them. Shuichi shrugged then sighed softly once more.

"It's going to be a very long day," the singer said. His shoulders slumped. "I take it you've seen some of the headlines for today?"

"I have," Tohma replied. There was no sense in denying he had not seen the paper. The evidence lay on his desk. Tohma reached the singer as Shuichi nodded his head.

"I'm sure you're thinking of ways to spin this, too," he said, leaning against Tohma. Slender arms wrapped around the blond's waist, and Shuichi buried his face in the blond's shirt. His chin fit perfectly under Tohma's chin. "A lot of people are involved. It isn't just me and Eiri anymore."

"There are," Tohma agreed. Of their own accord, his arms enveloped the lithe body pressed against him.

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"You may," Tohma murmured. He inhaled deeply of the younger man's scent. Though it had only been a few hours since they had last seen each other, Tohma had missed him, and Shuichi was providing him a much-needed distraction.

"Let me handle this," Shuichi said, his tone low. His words caused Tohma to blink his eyes in a rapid succession. The singer then lifted his head so amethyst eyes met aquamarine. Again, the synth master saw the physical pain registering in his lover's eyes. "Please. K-san and Reiji are already having a field day with this on how they're going to take care of it. They're not listening to me. It's like they don't think I can handle this."

"And how do you plan on dealing with this?" Tohma asked. He really wanted to ask Shuichi if he felt all right, but he suspected the younger man would avoid answering the question. 'Patience,' Tohma reminded himself, though his concern continued to grow.

"By sticking with what I've said before," Shuichi replied, his voice rising a little in pitch. "The article, it's only truth if someone admits that it is, right? And that's what whoever wrote this wants. An admission . . ."

"Shhh," Tohma whispered, rubbing his hand over the singer's back. From his tone, he could tell Shuichi was becoming over-excited by the situation. He needed to relax, if only for a moment. "Easy now . . ."

"No!" Shuichi pulled away from him, eyes flashing with irritation. "No more easy! That's what K and Reiji said but I'm not about to take this stupid person's lies! They're treating me like I can't handle this, like I don't know what I'm saying. I can do this if they just let me! I . . ."

He fell silent the moment Tohma place a finger on his lips. Almost immediately, the singer looked chastised, but he still leaned against Tohma as if he were exhausted. From his outburst, Tohma surmised Bad Luck's manager must have whipped everyone into some kind of a frenzy just to find a solution for the new problem. Reiji's appearance was probably not helping Shuichi any, either.

"How bad?" Tohma asked, his voice soft. He resumed rubbing the younger man's back, and a third sigh escaped Shuichi.

"About a three and a half," he replied, using the number system they had agreed upon when it came to Shuichi's headaches. There was also a quiet resignation in the singer's tone, as if he knew Tohma would pester him until he told the truth.

"Aspirin then."

Reluctantly, Tohma released him and walked back to his desk. Also per their agreement, Tohma kept a stock of various painkillers in his office, including parts of Shuichi's prescription for Imitrex. The medicines were for emergency purposes only, and Tohma was now glad he had them in his possession. Shuichi looked terrible in Tohma's eyes.

As he retrieved the painkillers, the blond thought about what Shuichi had just said. It _was_ only truth if anyone involved treated the article as such. Any change in stories now would be foolhardy just as rushing into any kind of press conference. The situation needed to be handled with kid gloves, or things would turn out disastrously. A slight smile touched his lips as he grabbed Shuichi a bottle of water and dropped two aspirin from the container into his hand. For one of a few times since he started his relationship with Shuichi, Tohma felt glad for his lover's input. The singer provided a different perspective to a given situation. His opinion was not always what Tohma wanted to hear, but Shuichi was always honest in what he felt and thought. It was one of the singer's charms. Once he had what the singer required for his headache, Tohma returned to Shuichi and handed the items over.

"You really wish to handle this?" he asked. Shuichi quickly swallowed the pills and water before he nodded.

"Yeah," he replied. "I do. I'm being called a liar by someone I don't even know, who doesn't even _know_ the truth, and I don't like it."

"Very well then," Tohma said. "We'll do it your way."

As he spoke the words, Tohma could not refrain from smiling. He could only imagine how the media would react to the singer's continued stance of an amicable split with _the_ one and only Eiri Yuki. Anyone who tried to challenge it would be making a fool of himself and in front of his peers no less. Tohma took Shuichi's hand into his and kissed the top of it.

The singer's relief and happiness from hearing Tohma's decision were evident in his eyes.

"Thank you," Shuichi murmured.

"You are more than welcome," the blond replied. He then winked, let go of Shuichi's hand, and walked over to his desk. It was time to call both K-san _and_ Reiji into his office and set the game into motion. Things were starting to become interesting.

* * *

"What is that you want?"

From the harsh tone and glare his lunch "partner" used, Taki knew he had a lot of work ahead of him, and the knowledge did nothing to ease his anxiety. Hiroshi Nakano remembered all too well how his best friend and singer suffered at his hands, and it did not surprise ASK's vocalist to find out that Hiro knew of the assault. Shuichi would have had to turn to someone.

However, it had taken a lot of courage on Taki's part to even pick up the phone and call Bad Luck's guitarist. He was taking a huge risk, one that could ultimately end his life if his boss found out the real reason behind this little date. Taki was not about to waste what little bit of time he had left. He did his best to keep his anxiety under control for he knew he had no other choices left. With his hands folded over the bulky envelope he intended to hand over to Bad Luck's guitarist, he offered a sarcastic smirk he did not feel.

"It's good to see you, too," he said. "It's been such a long time that I forgot what it was like to be in the presence of a loser like you."

"Not long enough," the other musician spat. "I don't have time for your bullshit so I'll ask you again. Just what the hell do you want?"

"To regain my recording contract at NG, of course," Taki lied. He did not dare risk the truth in such an open environment. "I'd like for you to help me with that. That way, ASK and Bad Luck can really see who's number one."

"Forget it," Nakano said, rising to his feet. "I'm not . . ."

"It would be in your best interest if you at least listened," Taki hissed, lowering his voice. He was quickly losing control of both his temper and his anxiety, and he did not like it. "Because I'm not going to get the chance again. Now sit down and shut the fuck up. Got it, you stupid ass punk?"

"I don't think you're in any position to be telling me what to do," the guitarist informed him after a moment of shocked silence. Taki shrugged, clamping down on his turbulent emotions.

"That may be," he said. "But I at least have to try. It would be greatly _beneficial_ to Bad Luck, after all. Please. At least _listen_."

Taki placed as much emphasis on the words "beneficial" and "listen" as he possibly could. He was trying to convey his message without having to say the words outright. His "tail" sat roughly two tables away from them, and Taki prayed vehemently to any god who would listen that the company goon had not heard half off the conversation.

"I don't have time," Hiro said in a cold, caustic tone. He remained standing. Taki then picked up the envelope and handed it over to the guitarist. It was his absolute last chance before someone caught on to who they were.

"Then give this to Seguchi-san," Taki murmured. "At the very least, he should hear ASK's demo. Shuichi should, too."

"Don't you . . ."

Taki rose to his feet, his eyes narrowed. He had accepted the fact Hiroshi Nakano would be difficult to deal with, given the animosity ASK and Bad Luck had harboured for each other. However, this encounter was bordering on becoming downright ridiculous, thanks to Nakano's stubbornness. It was strange, in a way, because Taki had always thought Bad Luck's guitarist was the smart one, much like in the way John Lennon had been the smart one amongst his fellow Beatles. He grabbed Nakano by the hand and shoved the envelope into it.

"Don't tell me to leave Shindou out of this," Taki growled at the same time. "He is more involved than what you think or didn't you catch today's headline? Seguchi-san _needs_ to hear what's on this tape, or the stories will only get worse. Not just for him but for Bad Luck as well. Do you understand me?"

Hiroshi Nakano blinked, stunned, as Taki released his grip on the other man. The envelope, the singer noted with a smug satisfaction, remained in the guitarist's hand. He also noticed Bad Luck's manager, that crazy, gun-toting American, rushing towards them, the man reaching for his gun. Taki smiled and stepped back. For the benefit of his tail, he spoke once again.

"Have a good day, Nakano-kun. I look forward to another showdown with Bad Luck."

Before Bad Luck's crazed manager could reach them, Taki turned and headed for the door. He hoped and prayed his little scheme worked, and his mind raced as he exited the restaurant. The lie for his boss was already in his mind as he hurried away. His tail would be following him shortly, and Taki knew it would be well worth any broken ribs his encounter with Nakano had earned him.

'Don't worry, Shuichi. I will make amends for what I did to you, and I will protect you. I promise.'

* * *

The blinds were closed, and the sounds of traffic were nothing more than a dull hum. Tohma sat on his office sofa, a copy of some international headlines in his right hand and a demo cassette next to him. His left hand rested on the top of Shuichi's head, his fingers idly combing through the singer's hair. His goal was to keep Shuichi inactive, and to himself, for at least another hour or until his migraine dissipated.

The day had been more than eventful for everyone involved with Bad Luck. Eiri's publicist had contacted Tohma, and they had discussed the day's damaging headline. The woman had wanted to know how Tohma intended to deal with the scandal since she knew how protective he was of Eiri, and she was also interested in keeping her client's image protected as well. At the same time, according to K-san, Sakano-san, and Reiji, Taki Aizawa had contacted Hiroshi Nakano and requested to meet with the guitarist over lunch. The guitarist had not liked it much, but Tohma could not help feeling curious as to what his former employee wanted. As a result, he told Nakano-san to meet the vocalist.

While Bad Luck's guitarist went out for the meeting, with K-san as his escort and bodyguard, Eiri had shown up for the scheduled press conference with Shuichi, and the two had discussed how they were going to approach the media. The novelist apparently was not about to let his former lover face the media alone, and Tohma could tell Eiri was just as upset about the article as he. The press conference was nothing short of spectacular after that point. As a united front, they stuck with the original story behind their split. There were no hints of any alterations, and they maintained it was simply time for them to have moved on.

Unfortunately for Shuichi, one of his monster migraines had hit halfway through the question-and-answer portion of the conference. He had toughed it out to the best of his abilities, but it was not without consequence. By the time Tohma and K-san, who had returned in time for the conference, had ended the media spectacle, the petite singer was sick to his stomach from the pain. He needed a quiet, darkened area in which to settle himself, and there was only room in the entire building that guaranteed such solitude, Tohma's office. As discreetly as possible and with a word of warning to his employees, Tohma had ushered the singer into an elevator and straight into the blond's private sanctuary.

That had been a little over an hour and a half ago, and Tohma felt certain Shuichi now dozed. It was just a matter of ensuring the migraine was completely gone before he disturbed his lover, and Tohma found himself wanting to delay their inevitable parting for the evening. The desire to have Shuichi in his bed for another night filled the blond's heart, but he knew he could not force the issue with his lover. Shuichi had developed a fondness for his space and privacy since his split with Eiri, and Tohma knew he could not blame the singer for wanting such things. Therefore, in his mind, the decision to stay another night with Tohma lay with Shuichi and no one else.

Next to him, the vocalist stirred then pushed himself into a sitting position. Tohma thought he still looked exhausted.

"Are you feeling any better, Shu-chan?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "I am. Thanks."

"You are most welcome." Tohma slid an arm around Shuichi's shoulders. "You did an excellent job today."

"I did?" Shuichi let out a humourless laugh. "I thought I was terrible."

"It isn't your fault your migraine hit, love," Tohma murmured. "You can't predict such things."

Shuichi sighed softly.

"I know. Still didn't make it any easier, though."

"I know." Tohma kissed his cheek then nuzzled it. "Sakano-san will probably be here soon to take you home."

"Yeah . . ." Shuichi turned his head so their noses touched. "He'll probably wonder where I went this weekend. I'm sure he knows I didn't stay with my parents."

"Probably."

Their lips were dangerously close to "accidentally" brushing together. A knock on the door interrupted them instead.

"Shindou-san? Are you feeling better? Your sister is here to see you," Sakano-san called out, his voice muffled thanks to the wood.

"Like clockwork," Tohma murmured, his hopes for that extra hour alone with the singer dashed.

His disappointment and secret desire must have seeped into his tone for Shuichi smiled at him, sympathetic and understanding. Then the singer leaned in closer, his mouth a delightful yet agonizing inch away from his ear, and he whispered something Tohma never expected to hear from him. ith a brighter, more hopeful smile, Shuichi stood up, kissed him chastely on the lips, and left his office.

It took a moment for lover's words to register, but, when they did, Tohma felt a grin he could not resist tugging on his lips. He glanced at the clock then at the demo tape and decided perhaps his evening would not be a total loss after all.

* * *

Dee watched as his partner worked away, furiously typing whatever he needed into the computer. Determination shown on Ryo's face like a light as he concentrated on the task at hand, and it was no easy feat.

They were searching for any information on Trixie Vanderbucks' assailant, one Shuichi Shindou, and they were most interested in any potential criminal background as well as any clue to the supposed singer's whereabouts. As far as Dee could tell, his partner was not having much luck with his search. The pensive expression on Ryo's face indicated as much. Dee then shook his head and turned towards his own computer. While he was not one who cared much for deskwork, he was not about to let this Shindou person walk the streets a free man and able to rape another young woman. To many rapists, in Dee's opinion, never went to trial because of some minor technicality. He vowed, if only to himself, Shindou would not be one of those "fortunate" ones.

On a hunch, he opened an Internet window to the Google search engine and typed in the name "Shuichi Shindou" . . .


	11. Challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: As of the last chapter, it will be a while before Dee, Ryo, Trixie, and Speed re-appear. I'm not sure for how much longer but the next chapters are going to focus on this mystery enemy of Tohma's and Taki running interference.

Tohma stretched his body out with a cat-like grace as he opened his eyes. Shuichi lay next to him, still sound asleep. A quick glance at the singer's alarm clock told Tohma it was only four thirty in the morning, the usual time he rose for the day. The blond smiled as he pulled the singer close to his body, Shuichi snuggling instantly.

Last night had proven to be truly wonderful for the couple. Upon his arrival to the singer's apartment, Shuichi demonstrated the night's itinerary, which involved a lot of kissing each other every possible moment and physical intimacy. Within minutes of his arrival, the two were in Shuichi's bedroom, their clothing on the floor and their bodies pressed against each other as needs and desires made themselves known. They stopped their lovemaking for about an hour or so and allowed their bodies some rest. It was also during the respite Tohma fixed them something to eat, a simple meal of fish, rice, and some vegetables. Despite his inability to cook anything edible, Shuichi's refrigerator was well stocked. When asked, the singer admitted with some humour and embarrassment his mother stopped by to cook for him two to three times a week, and she prepared enough so he could eat the leftovers the next day. Because she did that, he tried to keep his refrigerator stocked so she would not have to go shopping before she arrived. Tohma smiled at the confession. Shuichi's fondness for his family touched the blond's heart, and he could understand why Eiri would feel reluctant to be torn away from the Shindou clan. They were warm and loving, and were quite the opposite of the Uesugi clan. They gave the author everything he had lacked in his childhood, something no one other than Tohma dared to do openly before Shuichi entered his life.

It was in thinking of Eiri Tohma felt a pang of guilt and sadness, mostly for the author's loss. Last night's pleasures had taught Tohma about Shuichi's capacity for great love and forgiveness. After all, how many times had Eiri and Shuichi fought only to kiss and make up later? How many times had Shuichi chased Eiri in the hopes the author loved him in return? Shuichi's persistence, along with Tohma, had been the only constant in Eiri's life, something that told the author he was worth being chased with devotion and love. Eiri, until Shuichi entered his life, believed there was no such thing as love, that it was a game people played to gain what they wanted. Would he really know love with Nakano? Tohma was not certain. Maybe it was time for him to conduct a heart-to-heart with the guitarist. He would not intervene, but he had to be sure Eiri would be all right in a new relationship. Tohma was well aware of how difficult Eiri Uesugi could be.

Next to him, Shuichi stirred, and the singer's movements interrupted Tohma's thoughts. Another glance at the clock told Tohma he was two minutes late in rising for the day. Sighing in reluctance, he pushed the covers off his body. There were some days he really did not want to rise. Today felt like it was one of those days.

"Do we really have to get up right now?"

Surprised Shuichi was even awake, Tohma turned his head so he could look at the singer. In the dimness, he could discern that Shuichi's eyes were open, not their colour like he would enjoy to see, and the younger man was also pushing himself into a sitting position.

"You don't," Tohma replied, "but I do. _N.G._ does not run itself. You should get some more rest."

"Mmmm . . . no." Shuichi shook his head. He started to crawl out from under the blankets and over towards Tohma.

"No?" he echoed, mildly surprised and amused. "Why no?"

Bare flesh slid over his as Shuichi straddled him. Slender fingers combed through his mussed up hair, and Shuichi's nose touched the tip of Tohma's in an Eskimo-style kiss.

"Because if I did that," Shuichi replied in a low and husky tone, "I wouldn't be able to join you in the shower."

"You mean distract me while I'm in the shower." Tohma's arms slid around that trim waist.

Shuichi laughed a little then kissed Tohma. He returned the action, quite enjoying this particular waking.

"And why not?" Shuichi asked once their kiss ended, his tone still the same. "It isn't like _N.G._ is a long drive from here." Another kiss. "Fifteen minutes, top."

"Unless Sakano-san is driving. He drives like an old woman."

"But he won't be," Shuichi replied, kissing him again. "You will be, and I know how you like to drive fast. It thrills you."

Tohma raised an eyebrow at the singer, amused and very much affected by the singer's words and ministrations. The feel of the singer pressed close in their current position drove Tohma wild, and Shuichi had made some valid points. They had _some_ time for play and distractions, and Tohma truly loved driving his car as fast as he could. There was something intoxicating about pushing the speed boundaries that excited him, and to hear that Shuichi knew . . . well, it only added fuel to the fire he was already feeling.

Without another word, he rose to his feet, bringing Shuichi with him as well. The younger man wound his legs around Tohma in the process. Perhaps the early waking was not so bad after all.

* * *

Shuichi frowned as he listened to the tape Hiro had handed over to Tohma. It supposedly was a demo from Taki Aizawa, but he had not heard any music as of yet. At least, Shuichi did not recognize the voice on the tape nor most of what the man was saying. The words were spoken in English, a language Shuichi was not proficient in speaking, but he could tell the tones the speaker used were dark and sinister. Just listening to the man sent chills down Shuichi's spine, and his breathing sounded harsh in the compact space.

Next to him, Tohma moved. The sound of the voice shut off, and the tape was ejected out of the car's tape player. Shuichi breathed a sigh in relief, but the sensation was short-lived. From the corner of his eye, he saw as Tohma sat with his back rigid and his gaze straight ahead. The blond's knuckles were white from how hard he gripped the steering wheel, and Shuichi understood Tohma knew who the speaker was.

"You should not have had to listen to that," Tohma murmured. "I apologize. I sincerely thought it was a demo from Aizawa-san."

"Hiro said Taki wanted both of us to hear it." Shuichi reached over and touched Tohma's shoulder. "Whoever this is, he wants to hurt us both. At least, that's what I think Taki's trying to tell us."

"Yet, it is I he taunts repeatedly," Tohma replied. Suddenly, he looked fifteen years older, as if the weight of the world and the moon now rested on his shoulders. Shuichi wanted to erase his cares away. "I have many enemies, Shuichi. Some of them even know how protective I am of Eiri, and they will use such knowledge against me. If they were to find out about you . . ."

"They'll have a fight on their hands."

Tohma glanced at him, his expression one of momentary surprise. It was as if he had not expected to hear such an answer from Shuichi.

"What?" he said, the fires of anger starting to burn within him. "I'm not going to stand by and let someone try and hurt the people I care about and love. I won't stand by."

"Forgive me, Shuichi, but I know they will not take you seriously," Tohma said, sighing a little. A small amount of relief shone in his eyes, however, and a fraction of a smile appeared on his lips. "To them, you are nothing more than a nuisance, someone to get rid of when the time is right. You have not earned quite the same reputation as I. They will not take you seriously."

"Neither did you, a few years ago," Shuichi replied. "Yet, here we are."

"Yes. Here we are."

"I can fight, Tohma." Shuichi squeezed his lover's shoulder. "In any way I can, I will. I'm not afraid. I can stand up to this person."

"And you will, no matter how much I protest," Tohma said. His smile grew by another fraction. He sounded truly worried but still relieved, like Shuichi was taking a huge burden from his shoulders. Some of those years disappeared from Tohma's face. "It will not be easy, this . . . fight that is coming."

"You'll fight, too. I know you will."

"It is why we are here," the blond murmured. "I just don't want you involved more than what you already are. It is bad enough this . . . person is attacking Eiri and myself."

"Too late." Shuichi turned his head. "This person, he's going to make sure I'm involved one way or another and that I get hurt by all of this no matter what."

"You heard what was said then?"

Shuichi understood what Tohma was implying. They both knew he spoke very little in the way of English whereas Tohma spoke it proficiently. The singer shrugged.

"I don't need to understand what he was saying to know he was threatening you. I heard my name in there and Eiri's as well. I'm not stupid."

"Of course not. I would never imply such a thing," Tohma said. He pulled into the _N.G._ parking lot. "I am more worried about how you intend to fight this person, Shuichi, when you don't know what it is he has planned. It is very likely he does not see you as a threat. He will not take you seriously in a confrontation."

"Which will be the biggest mistake of his life."

He spoke with such determination and ferocity, Tohma paused before speaking again. That marginal smile grew by another fraction, a larger one, and he shook his head.

"Something I thought I had done once before," Tohma murmured, "yet here we are. How unusual. Very well then. I guess I have no other choice but to concede defeat at your hands, Shuichi. May I ask how you intend to fight back?"

The car stopped in Tohma's usual spot, but neither man climbed out just yet. Their conversation was not quite finished.

"In the only way I know how," Shuichi answered. Tohma nodded with what Shuichi hoped was understanding. "By not letting anyone push me around like I'm just a piece of trash. It's a P.R. battle, after all."

* * *

Taki cradled his right arm close to his abdomen, blood trickling from both corners of his mouth. Another kick to that region sent more pain spearing up his arm and knocked the breath out of his lungs. So far, no questions had been directed at him, and Taki started to feel a bit of worry creeping into his heart. He knew this would happen, the beating from the goons, but to the point where he bled and could hardly breathe? It seemed unreal.

"That's enough."

The moment the unseen man said something, the assault on Taki ceased. He tried to draw in as many gulps of air as he could, thankful the rain of kicks and blows was over. Even though he knew it had been coming, especially he had not hidden the fact he met Hiroshi Nakano in a very public place, Taki still feared for his life.

"I need him alive," the unseen man continued. "He has a contract to fulfill. Among other things."

The men who had beaten him grumbled but grudgingly stepped away. Taki saw the form of his boss sitting a few yards away from him, and the thin man was polishing a pair of red sunglasses. The wheels of his chair glinted in the light.

"Why did you meet with Bad Luck's guitarist?" The voice speaking sounded so silky, so delicate, but Taki heard the dark tones hidden under false sweetness.

The time for his lie had finally come and quickly. He just had to remember the lines he had written. Taki pushed himself into a sitting position.

"I was issuing Bad Luck a challenge," Taki said with a cough. "I want another shot at them. Apparently, though, Nakano didn't think ASK presented a challenge to them."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. He got quite angry when I implied we were still better than that group of wanna-bes."

For a moment, the world teetered on the edge of a blade, and Taki prayed he sounded convincing enough. While his boss was not the Tohma Seguchi anymore, the man was still formidable in his own right. The man had paid to have him raped, after all.

"And what was on the tape?"

"Taunts. Shindou-san can't back away from a challenge, not when it comes to that piece of crap band he started. He has to prove he's the best there is, no matter what."

"Is that so?" Akira Takahashi removed his sunglasses and placed them in his lap. "You seem rather confident about that.

"Yeah." Taki inhaled, wincing a little and more than grateful he had included the challenge on the tape. "I am confident about that. I know that little pipsqueak. Why do you think Bad Luck is at the top of the charts right now?"

* * *

"Are you crazy?" Reiji shouted. "ASK is a _nothing_ band! Why would you even consider accepting a challenge from a group of has beens? It's stupid and it's professional suicide, you idiot!"

Shuichi rubbed at his temples and fought back a sigh. He felt the beginnings of a migraine setting in, an unusual occurrence. His migraines usually attacked when he least expected them and crippled him almost immediately, but Shuichi knew the signs just the same. He would have to leave for Tohma's office and soon, before he ended up in the men's room, vomiting and wishing for someone to rip his head off so he would not feel the pain. Shuichi drew in a deep breath, prepared to recite the words he and Tohma agreed were necessary after they had heard the challenge on the tape Taki handed over.

"They may be a 'nothing' band right now," Shuichi began, "but that could change when we least expect it."

"He's right," Hiro interjected. "They were our rivals in the beginning."

"Before Nittle Grasper even reunited," Suguru added. Shuichi nodded.

"Exactly. They were ahead on the charts when we took them on that first time. They definitely had what it took to make and sell music. That was why Seguchi-san chose them over us initially."

"Then why were they dropped?" Reiji asked, a look of disbelief on her face. "If they were so good, Seguchi-san would have never let them leave."

"Taki met with a very bad and very unfortunate accident," Shuichi replied. "And he blames me for it."

"That's no reason . . ." Reiji began.

"ASK is twentieth on the charts right now. Tohma showed me their position when he told me about Taki's challenge on that tape," Shuichi interjected, not wanting Reiji to continue. The reasons for ASK's departure from _N.G._ were far more personal than anyone other than Hiro realized, and Shuichi did not wish to relive those moments. "They may not seem like a threat right now, but they can turn into one overnight. We can't rest simply because we're at the top and they're not. It's music. What people like today, they hate tomorrow. You of all people should know that."

"He's right," K said. They turned as he and Sakano entered the room. "Tomorrow, we begin the recording process again, which means new material needs to be written. Those are Seguchi-san's orders. Taki's challenge is the real deal, and we have no doubts ASK will start to kick things up."

"And if they do, we do," Shuichi said. He rubbed at his temples again, unable to ignore the dull throb forming there. It was an action that did not go unnoticed by everyone there. Their concern for him was on their faces. Before they could close in around him, Shuichi waved them away and started for the door.

"We have a lot to do," he said. "We need to get to work."

"Not if you're coming down with something," Hiro stated.

"I'll be all right."

"Shu . . ."

"Hiro . . ." He paused for a moment then offered his best friend a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine. I know what it is and how to take care of it. I'll be fine."

"If you're sure . . ."

"Yeah." Shuichi nodded. "I am. I'll be right back and we'll get started, okay?"

He stepped out of the room as quickly as he could without an answer, Sakano following him.

"Migraine again?" the producer inquired.

"Yeah. Beginning. Never starts out like this."

They were both walking fast to reach the elevators. The last thing Shuichi wanted was to end up puking his guts out. Once they were in the car and the doors secured in front of them, Sakano confronted him, taking Shuichi completely by surprise.

"You were with Seguchi-san last night, weren't you?"


	12. Protecting The Ones They Love From Danger(?)

"Why would you ask me that?" Shuichi felt his heart hammer with a staccato rhythm. It beat in time with the throbbing of his temples, and a familiar wave of nausea washed over him. He was probably too late in warding off all of his symptoms, but Shuichi was determined to keep the pain under control. Too much was at stake for him to wilt under the pressure.

"Because the security guards told me you left with him this morning," Sakano replied. He then glanced at Shuichi, his expression neutral. For once, the producer was not on the verge of a breakdown. Perhaps his sister was the right person for Sakano. He certainly seemed calmer since they started dating and even more so since their engagement. "They also informed me he arrived after six last night and assumed he was there to see me as they're accustomed to. Apparently, he found you instead."

Shuichi groaned, mostly from his headache than Sakano's words. It felt exactly like yesterday's migraine, as if the pain decided it was not through with Shuichi just yet, and a whimper tore itself from his throat before he could stop it. Already, the lights of the lights of the elevator glared into his eyes, adding to the intensity of his migraine.

"Yes, he was with me last night. I invited him over."

Sakano rested a hand on Shuichi's shoulder. Bad Luck's producer was one of a very select few allowed to touch him, to even come near him without fear of discovery, and Shuichi could imagine the frown of concern on the other man's face.

"They're getting worse," Sakano murmured. Shuichi barely managed a nod just as the elevator doors slid open, and the singer blinked, half-stupefied. He thought he was seeing Tohma _and_ Eiri standing on the other side, but his vision was blurring. The singer was not certain he could trust his eyes, especially with the way they felt.

"Shuichi?"

The singer winced at how loud his name sounded coming from Eiri, but hearing the writer speak told Shuichi that he was not imagining things. Shuichi blinked again then started to drop to his knees as they refused to hold him up any longer. Strong arms caught him, and the faint hint of Tohma's cologne tickled his nose, and he closed his eyes, feeling a miniscule amount of relief. Around him, Shuichi heard talking.

"What's going on?" Eiri demanded, his voice unusually loud in Shuichi's mind. He winced, unable to help himself.

"Keep your voice down, Eiri," Tohma murmured. He lifted Shuichi to his feet, and Shuichi clung to him desperately, if only to give himself the illusion of maintaining his balance. His world spun at an alarming rate, and Shuichi did not want to fall again. "As for what is going on, Shuichi is being attacked by a migraine. Close your eyes, Shuichi."

Shuichi complied with Tohma's quiet command, and he sighed a little at the small amount of relief the action gave him. His world still spun, but not at the dizzying, nauseating rate as before. Tohma then led him to his office, Eiri and Sakano following them. Once inside the expansive room, Shuichi felt himself stretching out on the sofa, and Tohma issued a few more orders he barely heard.

Now was the time for fences. He knew as much, felt it in his heart as keenly as the sharpest blade piercing it. Shuichi was not ready for anyone else to discover his relationship with Tohma. Ryuichi knew and now Sakano with Eiri hot on his heels, it seemed. Tohma would understand. They both felt the same way. However, Shuichi knew he could not muster the strength to keep Tohma at arm's length. He relied heavily on the older man when his migraines struck, Tohma's presence alone a soothing anchor in the chaos. The other musician handled everything when it came to his migraines, including the injections of the pain medicine. When the time for touring arrived, Shuichi would be lost without Tohma's steady presence and soothing manner, and those thoughts alone scared him. Tohma sat next to him, one hand brushing lightly, almost feather-like, along his forehead.

"Here we go, Shuichi."

Something wet rubbed against his arm (the alcohol prep pad), followed by the every slightly painful prick of the needle, and a cool cloth soon rested over his eyes. Tohma's fingers brushed along his cheek, and the older man murmured in a soft tone the entire time. Eventually, the drumbeat of his migraine dulled and faded, leaving Shuichi worn out and still sick to his stomach. He wanted to sleep, if only for an hour or so, despite the challenge and warning from Taki and with the amount of work still awaiting Bad Luck. With his eyes already closed, Shuichi allowed his mind to drift . . .

* * *

Eiri watched as his former brother-in-law tended to his former lover, jealousy rearing its ugly head for the briefest and hottest of moments. There was a tenderness in Tohma's expression Eiri had never seen before, not even towards him or his sister, and Eiri received the impression Tohma wanted to lean in and kiss Shuichi on the cheek. Something kept the older man from doing so, and Eiri reasoned Tohma's restraint was because of him.

'He doesn't want to hurt me. He never has.'

"Thank you for your help, Eiri," Tohma murmured, his tone remaining on the soft and soothing side. "This is the worst migraine he's had, I'm sure."

"How long?" This was the first time Eiri had heard of Shuichi ever suffering from migraines, though the news hardly surprised him. Not when he stopped to think about how often his aspirin supply had constantly dwindled during the last few months of his relationship with the singer. Tohma shrugged at Eiri's inquiry.

"As far as I know, he's had them off and on for the last nine months," he replied. Eiri let out a sigh at Tohma's answer and mentally cursed himself for not noticing Shuichi's plight sooner. "We are working to keep them under control. Unfortunately, yesterday and today have proven to be quite trying for him and Bad Luck, and I fear it will only become worse."

"What do you mean by that?" Eiri frowned. He did not like how ominous those words coming from Tohma sounded.

"It seems as if Aizawa-san's targeting Shuichi once again, Eiri." Tohma's eyes locked with Eiri's, and, for the first time in his life, Eiri feared his former brother-in-law. His eyes were green ice, deadly and saying the words the older man would never dare utter around potential witnesses. The emotions Eiri saw there were also an echo of what he was feeling.

They both loved Shuichi, and neither man would allow Taki to hurt Shuichi ever again. Taki Aizawa would be a dead man before that ever happened again. Both men would see to it.

"He is, huh?"

"Yes," Tohma replied. "We received the challenge from Aizawa-san this morning."

"How's Shuichi taking it?" he asked.

"He's handling the situation like a professional," Tohma said, finally smiling. "In fact, he's looking forward to beating Aizawa-san at this game."

"What if this . . . game turns dangerous? What then?"

"Eiri, I have not forgotten what happened between them the last time, and I will not allow Aizawa-san to get too close to Shuichi," Tohma said.

"He means that much to you, doesn't he?"

Tohma must have caught the hidden undertones in Eiri's voice for surprise registered on the other blond's features. For once, Eiri caught Tohma off guard, but it was not as pleasing as he had once hoped it would be. If anything, he understood all too well how Tohma felt. Eiri shook his head.

"You don't have to answer that," he said. "I can see that he does. Just do me a favour, okay? Don't hurt him the way that I did. He deserves better than that, especially after all the shit I've put him through."

"Eiri . . ."

The author shook his head once more. It was his turn to smile, though with sadness. He knew all to well the sacrifice Shuichi had made for him by leaving. The time had come for him to do the same.

"Please, Tohma, don't say anything else, okay? Just make sure he's happy. That's all I care about right now."

With those words spoken, Eiri turned and walked out of Tohma's office. His heart ached, knowing who now possessed Shuichi's love, but in the same moment, Eiri felt extremely grateful. His former lover had always admired and respected Tohma for his skills as a musician. They understood each other on levels only other musicians could, making the two of them a perfect match.

As he walked towards the elevators for a second time, Eiri pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. He then proceeded to dial a number he had come to call more frequently than he cared to admit, but then again, they had more than just one thing and one person in common. The person on the other end answered after the second ring.

 _"What is it?"_

"I need to see you," Eiri said. "Now."

 _"I'm in the middle of something."_

"Then when you're done." Eiri paused. While he could write best sellers of great romantic proportions, he was not so great at actually dealing with others, especially Hiroshi Nakano. His words seemed to stick in his throat whenever it came to the guitarist. That was how things had been for some time, and Eiri still knew of no remedy for his dilemma. The gods only knew how often Shuichi tried to help him with his inability.

 _"Why?"_ Hiro asked.

"Because it's important," Eiri replied. He received a sigh in response.

 _"Fine,"_ the guitarist said after a moment. _"Where and when do you want to meet?"_

"Your place around lunch. I'll be waiting."

Eiri hung up, his mind kicking into overdrive. Now that he had let Hiro know he wanted to see him again, he wanted this occasion to be different, and he began to think that perhaps Shuichi was right. He did not love the singer like he had once before, and it was not right to continue something that had become a lie. Shuichi knew how much he despised liars. A light smile touched Eiri's lips.

Leave it to Shuichi to see something no one else could and realize what was best for everyone involved. Eiri's heart swelled with joy as he realized, truly _realized_ , his former lover had committed a very selfless and grown-up act when he called the end of their relationship. Shuichi wanted Eiri to be happy, and he was also giving Eiri permission to pursue the one who would ultimately lead the author to that happiness. All Eiri needed to do was stake his claim and not make the same mistakes again.

'Tonight, Hiro, your ass is man.'

* * *

In the minutes following Eiri's departure, Tohma stared at the door, his eyes wide and his heart racing. His relationship with Shuichi was becoming fast knowledge, and Tohma did not like the idea. He should have not remained so close to the singer while tending him, he berated himself for having done so, but he could not help himself. It pained him to see the singer so tormented, and it must have shown to Eiri. While he knew it would be impossible to keep the truth hidden forever, it was still too soon for anyone to know, in Tohma's opinion. He turned to stare at Sakano. The producer offered him a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, Shacho," he said. "Your secret is safe with me and always has been."

"I would hope so," Tohma replied evenly. "How . . .?" Sakano bowed, his smile still in place.

"Forgive me, Seguchi-san, but it has been somewhat obvious to me that he's been spending a great deal of time with someone."

"You've suspected me all along."

"Yes. Given your desire to protect Yuki-san from him in the past, it wasn't hard to figure out. I just didn't expect this depth of emotion . . . from either of you. My suspicions were confirmed this morning," Sakano replied.

"When Shuichi left with me." Tohma allowed himself a tiny smile. "A risk we both took, it would seem."

"I'm not complaining, Seguchi-san. If anything, I'm happy to know he's found someone who makes him smile and laugh again."

Tohma stared at Bad Luck's producer for a moment, trying to discern what Sakano-san was _not_ saying about Shuichi. Then he tilted his head, a few more clues clicking into place.

"He turned to you after he discovered Eiri with someone else."

"Not at first," Sakano replied. "I think it was still a shock for him, and he started to withdraw. He stayed with his parents for that first month. You don't know what it was like to watch him during the months he kept quiet about his leaving Yuki-san."

"I see . . . Thank you, Sakano-san. Please check back with the rest of the band and assure everyone that Shuichi will be fine. I will send him back once he feels strong enough to continue with their work. Also, will you tell Nakano-san I would like to see him the moment Shuichi returns to the studio?"

"Yes, Seguchi-san."

The producer bowed for a second time and left his office, closing the door behind him as he did so. Tohma stared at the door a moment longer then he exhaled softly, his shoulders slumping a little. He felt the beginnings of a headache himself, and Tohma immediately walked over to his desk. Once there, he pulled out a bottle of aspirin and informed his secretary he was not to be disturbed under any circumstances unless the building happened to be on fire or it was Nakano-san answering his summons. He then settled himself into his chair, his gaze landing on Shuichi's slumbering form. The singer now lay on his side, the cloth dangling precariously across his eyes. A light smile tugged on his lips.

Eiri had it right. Shuichi did mean a great deal to Tohma, more than what anyone could ever being to realize. He would fight to keep the vocalist at his side, no matter who the opponent happened to be. For the first time in many years, Tohma felt alive, like the world was no longer the dreary and dismal place he had known, and hew as not about to let go of those emotions anytime soon.

'I promise, Shuichi, no one will ever hurt you like Taki did ever again. I swear I will protect you, even if it means my life.'

* * *

 _~Several minutes before~_

"Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Reiji demanded, her hands on her hips. Hiro cringed at how shrill and irritated her voice sounded. "Why did Shuichi leave like that?"

"Headache," K replied, almost nonchalantly. "Quite possibly a migraine."

The blond-haired man's answer caught Hiro's attention, and he turned his head sharply so he could glare at K. Shuichi was having migraines? Why had the singer not said something to him? Hiro could have helped!

"A migraine?" Reiji scoffed. "That doesn't seem possible."

Hiro could not refrain from scowling at the girl. K's words made perfect sense to the guitarist now that all the pieces were falling together, and they explained why Shuichi had left as quickly as he did. The only other question remaining in Hiro's mind was where had Shuichi gone. His singer (and best friend) would require quiet and maybe even a darkened room until the pain passed. As far as Hiro knew, only one such place existed at NG, and that was Tohma Seguchi's office.

"He went to Seguchi-san's office, didn't he?" Hiro inquired. A chill stole over the guitarist as he spoke. In his mind, the absolute last person Shuichi needed to be around was Tohma Seguchi. K nodded in confirmation.

"Yes. Seguchi-san's office is the best place for him right now," the manager answered. "It's the only place in the building he can go to and not be bothered when the drums start pounding."

"And my cousin has no problem with this?" Suguru asked. His tone was laced with disbelief. To that, K shrugged before answering.

"It was Seguchi-san's idea."

"Why would Seguchi-san suggest _his_ office as a refuge for Shuichi?" Reiji interjected before anyone else could say anything. "I thought he didn't like Shuichi."

"He doesn't," Hiro answered. "He's just being nice to keep Shuichi away from Yuki-san."

'Not that he needs to keep Shu from Eiri,' Hiro thought darkly. 'Shu's moved on, and Eiri's letting him go without much of a fight! I just wish I knew what Eiri knows right now.'

At that moment, Hiro's cell phone started to vibrate against his thigh, and the guitarist immediately pulled it out to see who was calling him. Eiri's number appeared on the caller I.D., and with a sigh but no hesitation, Hiro answered at the second ring.

"What is it?"

 _"I need to see you . . . now."_

* * *

Taki resisted the urge to wince as Ma-kun tended to his bruises, but he was certain he was failing. Ma-kun's expression kept growing with concern as he cleaned and bandaged the worst of his injuries. At least he suffered from no broken bones . . . this time.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Ken-chan asked. The keyboardist watched as Ma-kun worked, horror etched onto his face.

Taki wanted to answer the question with all honesty. He truly did, yet paranoia kept him from speaking the words he knew he needed to say. He trusted Ma-kun and Ken-chan with his life and the darkest of his secrets, but there were things he could not tell them yet. To do that would be to put their lives in more peril and, for once in his life, Taki was not about to sacrifice his bandmates so he could save his sorry ass. The less they knew, the better off they were by the time things were said and done. He offered Ken-chan a faint smile.

"I'm thinking of getting back at Bad Luck," he replied. "That's what I'm thinking."

"And you'll get us killed this time," Ken shot back. "Your vendetta against Shindou . . ."

"I'm not going to take on Eiri Yuki again," Taki interrupted. "Eiri Yuki's got nothing to do with this. I know that, you baka. This is unfinished business between ASK and Bad Luck, and who should be at the top of the charts. Nothing more and nothing less."

"It's a nice dream, Taki," Ma-kun murmured, "but I don't think sending a personal challenge to Shindou is going to accomplish anything. He's got Seguchi-san to back him and Bad Luck in something like this. Why would Shindou even take us seriously?"

"Because we were their competition once, before Nittle Grasper reunited," Taki said. "We can be again, _without_ Seguchi-san. Besides, the runt can't back away from a challenge. He'll accept, if he hasn't already."

"Are you sure he'll even accept though?" Ken inquired. Taki nodded, praying fervently that Shuichi would. Ma-kun was right in one respect. Bad Luck, with Seguchi-san's endorsement, were a force to be reckoned with on the charts. Nearly every single hit the Top Ten and the Top Five with at least four out of five singles reaching number one. So far, their only rivals in that respect remained the disbanded Nittle Grasper.

"I haven't heard of him backing down from a challenge yet," Taki replied. "He'll accept. He won't want to look like he's scared of me . . . of ASK. And we are becoming a threat to Bad Luck's number one status."

"Being in the twentieth position in the charts is hardly noteworthy for Bad Luck," Ken retorted. "They're probably laughing their asses off at this challenge of yours."

"But we're in the top forty," Taki said, praying the entire time that Shuichi would accept and that he sounded convincing to Ken-chan and Ma-kun. If not to them, then to the goons Taki was sure were outside the door. "We have a chance, and you both know it."

"Numbers do have a funny way of changing," Ma-kun reluctantly conceded. "If Bad Luck does accept the challenge . . ."

"Then we expand our fan base and take a huge chunk out of Bad Luck's lead in the charts," Taki said, nodding. Relief flooded the singer's senses as well. Things were falling into place for his plans, and it please Taki to no end.

'At least, I'll be keeping them and Shuichi safe,' Taki told himself as Ma-kun applied the last of the ointments and bandages. 'Right now, that's all that matters to me.'

* * *

"What would you like for lunch?"

Shuichi lay still for a minute, considering Tohma's question. He really did not feel hungry, even though his migraine had finally disappeared, but he also knew he needed to eat something before too much longer. If he did not, his migraine medication would wreak havoc on his stomach. He learned that lesson the hard way, but the singer still felt reluctant about eating. After a little consideration, Shuichi shrugged.

"Doesn't really matter," he replied. Tohma raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you feeling all right?" the blond asked. Shuichi nodded.

"Yeah . . . just not very hungry right now," he murmured. Tohma walked over to him and sat down on the couch, causing Shuichi to scoot over to make room. His hand automatically reached for Shuichi, his fingers brushing gently through the singer's hair.

"Something light then," Tohma suggested. "Soup, perhaps, and some rice?"

"That would be nice," Shuichi said, smiling. He pushed himself into a sitting position as slowly as possible, thankful the world was not turning upside down, right side up, and sideways as he moved. Then Shuichi pressed his forehead against Tohma's, his smile never disappearing. It lessened but never disappeared. "Eiri knows about us, doesn't he?"

"It would seem so," Tohma answered, letting out a soft sigh. He closed his eyes. "As well as Sakano-san and Ryuichi . . . and Eiri was to never know . . . I did not want him to be hurt by this."

More than a bit of warmth crept into Shuichi's smile, and he touched his hand to Tohma's cheek. He knew precisely how the older man felt about Eiri. He, too, had wanted to keep Eiri from being hurt by the game he and Tohma had started to play, a game that was no longer a game.

"I know," he said. "I don't want to see him hurt any more than what you do . . ."

"You just never expected to fall in love again," Tohma murmured. "And yet, you did, and with his best friend no less."

"You didn't, either," Shuichi pointed out. "And with his former lover, no less."

"This is true . . ." Tohma let out a soft sigh. "When did things become so complicated?"

"When we decided we couldn't get enough of each other," Shuichi answered. Then he asked the question that was bothering him, plaguing him while he had rested. "How did Eiri react?"

"He was concerned when you started to collapse," Tohma said, keeping his voice low. "So was I, in all honesty. It is the worst migraine I've seen you endure. After I gave you your medicine, he wanted me to be sure you were happy, that I won't hurt you. He still loves you, Shuichi."

"It isn't the same anymore . . ."

"I know. You said he loves Nakano-san now."

They fell silent for a couple of minutes, their foreheads still touching with the other's. Shuichi exhaled softly.

"I love you, you know," he said. Tohma nodded.

"I know. I love you as well," the older man replied. Shuichi could not help but smile even wider and with more happiness. His relationship with Tohma differed greatly compared to his relationship with Eiri, which surprised the singer to an extent. He had half-expected Tohma to behave similarly to Eiri since the older man only allowed the world to see what he wanted it to see. He was not accustomed to such openness from his boss.

However, Shuichi was not about to complain. He wanted someone to love him and not hesitate in saying those three little words, wishes he never told Tohma in any conversation.

Somehow, the two men connected on a level much deeper than either realized. The more time Shuichi spent with Tohma, the more he understood what he shared with his boss turned lover. Tohma possessed passion and fire, two emotions that consume and destroy a person if he, or she, was not prepared for that intense kind of love. One simply needed to melt Tohma's barriers of ice.

Shuichi's eyes closed as Tohma shifted, their mouths coming together in a gentle yet soul-searing kiss. The blond's tongue flicked out, caressing his lips. Then he pulled away, a smile of contentedness lighting his features. He looked absolutely beautiful to Shuichi, and his heart felt as if it skipped a beat or two.

"I promised Sakano-san I'd send you back to Bad Luck's rehearsal room as soon as you were feeling better," Tohma said. "I'm not sure I want you to leave just yet."

"You'll see me at lunch," Shuichi promised. "And after work. I'll wait for you, okay?"

"Or I could sneak back to your place," Tohma offered with a hint of a mischievous grin. "I'm sure the media is still camped around my apartment complex. Your place would be better for now. Or do you disagree?"

"It doesn't matter to me," Shuichi said. He exhaled softly, happily. "As long as we can be together. That's all that matters to me."

"How sentimental of you," he murmured. Another kiss followed his words. "I'll call you when lunch arrives."

"All right . . ."

With more than a little reluctance, Shuichi pulled away from his lover and rose to his feet. Tohma's hand trailed along his cheek and down his side.

"I'll see you later," Shuichi said. "Behave yourself without me, okay?"

"As if that will be easy," Tohma said, his smile still in place. Shuichi decided not for the first time that the older man looked undeniably gorgeous and breathtaking when he smiled, when he truly _smiled_.

"I'm sure you'll manage," the singer murmured.

"Like you'll have to manage?"

Shuichi leaned over Tohma and kissed him yet again, briefly. His smile never wavered.

"I always do," he replied.


End file.
